Mar 6, 2009

THE MEDIA REPORT CRASH

After almost two weeks of no activity the
most read blog in Greenback, Old Tazwell,
and Hornwald has announced a total reorganization.

Due to the complexion of the financial
market and an unmanageable debt,
The Media Report has sold controlling
interest to the noted Mexican financier,
Uno Richsumbitch.

On the editorial side of the
page the cost of reporters, writers
and editors has been slashed by
following the money savings model of
the E.W. Scripps Co. outlined below.

1. The 401K plan has now been
scrapped, all those eligible or
contributing to the old 401K plan
will now be on board with the new
plan. All questions about where
your money is now should be sent in
writing to GOWHISTLEUPYOURASSFORIT
@ Manhattan, New York, United States
and please put to the attention of..
Bernard Madoff.

2. All "remaining" staff
will be cut back to a two day
work week, with a minimum of
24 required work hours per day.

4. All staff working hours over 40 will
be given the world famous Chinese
Over Time,


5. All reporters will stop reporting
and begin making up a minimum of
three stories an hour.

6. All stories must be sponsored by
either the writer or a rich relative of
said writer.



With the new influx of cash
The Media Report will be
able to continue to
sponsor their racing team,,
featuring the fastest gal
driver in the sport Mona Mamothmounds

The new publisher of The Media
Report is excited to continue
the tradition of reporting all
the news fit to make up concerning
both the local tribes and now
the cable, over the air, and
new digital media minions.

All contributions (posts) will
still be unedited, welcome and
revered by the new management
team and the very small but
well paid staff of writers
left in the bunker.


On a sad note, Management
at The Media Report
regrets to inform
all employees who went to
lunch yesterday and upon returning
found their desk contents
on the street and the locks changed
that "IF" you felt some of your personal items
were not returned to you, we will not
be taking your calls or meeting with you
to discuss the situation.

If you persist in calling and
dropping by to continue the discussion
we suggest you take it up with
our new SECURITY GUARD,
Lamar...

Feb 19, 2009

One bright one darkspot



Moments ago...according to Zeek's new fake
Rolex


The Knoxville News Sentinel
cut their folks PAY!

Zeek is worried about
the last big newspaper
in Knoxville. Their
owners announced that even
with all the political ads
they ran..the company...has
posted a big fat LOSS!


As Zeek says it don't
take much to figure if
you get a gift such as
a presidential campaign
advertising budget and still
lose dollars, things
are going to get
worse before they get better!

As he was telling our fashion
and society editor, Modine Gunch,
Knoxvull still needs a big paper
and if it were to pass away
it would be a shame.

Put away your hankie,
here be some GREAT NEWS!!!

The Dude that road in the front
seat when Air America went down in
flames and then opened another lib talk
radio network has just seen it ALSO
burp and die!


Randi Rodes (famed GW hater and
lib) could be one of those who
will be kept off the air if this boys
network can't get a jump start from
Al-Kida or one of their other
under the table sponsors!

Now if MSNBC will follow their lead
and turn off the lights we will be able
to truly say we have made two giant
steps toward solving the problem of
AIR POLLUTION!

Feb 16, 2009

WATE BANKRUPTCY

First...these are Y O U R
posted comments on the financial
problems of Young Broadcasting and
their Knoxville station..Channel 6






Anonymous Anonymous said...

NEW YORK -- Young Broadcasting Inc., owner of 10 TV stations affiliated with the CBS and ABC networks, including two in Tennessee, said Friday it has filed for Chapter 11 protection in U.S. bankruptcy court in the Southern District of New York.

The New York-based company said it will continue to operate the stations without interruption.

"Our decision to restructure through a Chapter 11 filing will allow the company to bring its debt in line with current economic realities so that we can emerge a stronger and more financially secure company. It is important to note that we are restructuring our debt, not our operations," says Chairman Vincent Young in a written statement.

TV broadcasters in the U.S. are under pressure as the economic downturn sends advertising revenue spiraling downward. Credit rating agency Moody's Investors Service warned last week that broadcasters entered the recession with high levels of debt and already were struggling to retain audiences as more customers turn to portable gadgets and the Web for entertainment.

At the same time, broadcasters -- and some of their cable counterparts -- are facing tough times absent must-see television such as major political campaigns or the Olympics.

On Thursday, the country's fourth-largest cable operator Charter Communications Inc., said it expects to file for bankruptcy by April 1 and get relief from creditors.

The St. Louis-based company has never made a profit since it began trading publicly in 1999.

And last December, Chicago-based Tribune Co., which owns flagship newspapers such as the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, The (Baltimore) Sun, The Hartford Courant and other dailies, as well as 23 television stations and the Chicago Cubs baseball team, sought bankruptcy protection amid a $13 billion debt load and sinking ad revenues.

Young Broadcasting owns a national television representation firm, Adam Young Inc., and the following stations:

WATE-TV in Knoxville, Tenn. (ABC)

WKRN-TV in Nashville, Tenn. (ABC)

WTEN-TV in Albany, N.Y. (ABC)

WRIC-TV in Richmond, Va. (ABC)

WBAY-TV in Green Bay, Wis. (ABC)

WLNS-TV in Lansing, Mich. (CBS)

KLFY-TV in Lafayette, La. (CBS)

KELO-TV in Sioux Falls, S.D. (CBS)

KWQC-TV in Davenport, Iowa (NBC)

KRON-TV in San Francisco



Sunday, February 15, 2009 2:35:00 PM EST
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF-old news...don't wast our time on copy & paste stuff..When Walker just posted about the same stuff..give us something new or nothing at all.

Sunday, February 15, 2009 9:54:00 PM EST
Anonymous Anonymous said...



Anonymous #2--You have permission to kiss my rosy red ass. I'll contribute anything I damn well please. Get off your own lazy ass and find something to contribute instead of bitching about what someone else has added. The story above is confirmation of what Walker wrote earlier. If you can't handle copy & paste, stick your head back in your ass where it belongs.



Sunday, February 15, 2009 10:23:00 PM EST
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how can anyone believe what is posted on this thing? Everyone knows the bog hates channel 6 and makes up things about the station.



Sunday, February 15, 2009 10:54:00 PM EST
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are we a little aggravated Mr. WATE
copy and paste poster?..What will you copy and paste next?..Sure it'll be something already covered
in Walker's blog!!...and I'll just stay on my lazy ass and post about idiots like you!!..and I don't need permission to kick your ass do I?...that's what I thought..How about you posting something new and relevant?..go on if you can


STOP THE SHOW! HOLD YOUR HORSES!
GET A GRIP!

WE (the management and staff of THE MEDIA REPORT)
must comment on this exchange between
the two obviously irritated posters.

WHEN someone suggests a CRANIAL ANAL INSERT
we must put our foot down our raise our hands to
the heavens and do our best to ENCOURAGE more of
such exchanges! ZEEK ESPECIALLY LOVES
THE PASSION AND FIRE!


As for the situation at WATE...
The MR Legal Eagle, Shifty J. Grisham
tells us that Bankruptcy tant always
a bad thing, for the OWNERS of the joint.
Shifty also said there are more chapters of
Bankruptcy than there are of his new book,
"The Mutilated Client Who Skipped On His Lawyers Bill"
Shifty would have explained the ins and outs of
the one WATE and their owners are in (Chapter 11) but
he said he would have to kick in the meter and
suggested we let you the interested click right here for
the inside skinny.
Just before he left to
have lunch with a soon to be HOT Divorcee he is representing
he mentioned something about talent contracts
and pay just MIGHT be reset or at the least renegotiated
not unlike those of the Unions at GM. When asked
to elaborate he yelled he had no time
due the fact he had to make a pre-lunch
run by the Whiskey Store for a quart
of Wild Turkey.

Naturally Young Broadcasting (WATE's mother ship) announced late on a Friday to keep the flack to a minimum. STILL, when Zeek was on the heated porcelain throne Saturday morning
he found several mentions of it in the Wall Street Journal.

Unlike the fine release from WATE (see POSTER ONE ABOVE) the
big story talks about a station in Calf being Young Broadcasting's "Bridge Too Far" and kinda blames the
soon to be court appearance on it.

Finally we turned this over
to our Media Psychic the renowned
Hindu from Huntington ISEEFORABUCK and
he says he will do his best to
have an OBE (out of body experience)
and transport his OBE body to
any and all discussions
between staff and suits at
Graystone. He does caution
that often times the results of
his OBEs are determined by the
amount of bribe money he carries
along in is OBE pants.

Feb 13, 2009

WEEEKND AGAIN


GOOD LORD THE DR HAS DONE IT AGAIN!
LOS ANGELES - The doctor who helped Nadya Suleman get pregnant with octuplets has reportedly transferred at least seven embryos to another patient.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!
WATE PARENT COMPANY THROWS THE
"WE BE BROKE" TOWEL!

BOY DID AMERICA
GET SCREWED!





As you look at the above CLICK HERE!



Zeek was in line to audition
for the role of a pioneer, redneck,
moon shining, whistle pig eating, sister
dating, cousin marrying, single wide
living, white after labor day wearing,
home grown smoking, poorly dressed white
trash hillbilly down at WBIR when the word
came down that the Heart Land TV show was
being axed come this fall! After being a
background player for years Zeek took it personal
and did an "end around" run at the front desk to get
to the Grand Fromage for the scoop.

Back in olden times when the station was taken over
and the new suits reviewed the budget they
kinda thought stories about a toothless octogenarian
on a porch pushing a plunger and singing COME BUTTER COME..
were a bit over priced. Still, with the talent of Steve of the Deans behind the adventure they did a bit of financial
slicing around the edges and let the wonderment
of the good old days continue on BIR.

Zeek said the reason for the
dropping of the ax was money.
He also said he could see it, cause
when he first started as an "extra"
on the show his pay was a 5X7 photo
of him standing in front of the old
Cas Walker wall flanked by
a cut out of Cas, and John Rice Irwin.
Over the years the fame and glory were
bundled in a monetary contribution that
made Zeek always be first in line
when there was a cattle call!

So is the show really going to pick up
the mussel loader, a quart of two hundred
proof and take that one way walk out into the
woods? According to the power brokers the word
is no. The only change is those who make
the show will now be in the soon to be forming
Obama bread lines, while the shows that are
in the can continue to run.

Zeek is heart broken that the Heart Land
has lost its Heart on this the day before
VALENTINES.


Radio host Mario Solis Marich asked former President Bill Clinton if it was time for "some type of enforced media accountability.

The former President said....

"Well, you either ought to have the Fairness Doctrine or we ought to have more balance on the other side," Clinton said, "because essentially there's always been a lot of big money to support the right wing talk shows and let face it, you know, Rush Limbaugh is fairly entertaining even when he is saying things that I think are ridiculous...."

Staff and management at THE MEDIA REPORT
stand as a body of one against any
and all FAIRNESS! Never will
this almost award winning
publication be scared into
presenting TWO sides of ANY
issue! As with Rush, and
the other successful
seekers of truth we
believe our opinion is
the only opinion. To
allow a new administration
that so far can't find
enough boys who have actually paid
their taxes, to work for them tell
us what to say, express or think
goes over about as well as
the often referenced "offering"
in the punch bowl.

As always if you disagree with
this publication you are
encouraged to vent on the
comment page.


Last week it looked like
satellite radio just might be
going breasts up.
Last minute
offers and deals are in the works
to save the industry so don't panic
yet. IF you are a subscriber and
the two networks do shut down, Zeek is
working with Tha Swang and a few other
old timers to set up a
local FREE radio station featuring
the local Heart Land Series band members
who were just throw under the buggy by
WBIR. Preliminarily plans are for the station
to broadcast on CB channel 69, provided
our engineer Sparky can get two new Chicken
Chokers and a couple of Foot Warmers at
Green Acres on Sunday.

NEWS BREAKING LIKE THE WIND!
THE PRESIDENT HAS FINALLY FOUND
A DOG THAT FITS BOTH HIMSELF AND
HIS FAMILY!

Feb 5, 2009

What about the others?

Before your great posts
are posted, answered and then
ignored Zeek felt it
best to remain fair and balanced
concerning the financial
support systems other local
media outlets are plugged into.

The only MAJOR newspaper
in Knoxville (The Knoxville News Sentinel)
is owned by the light house guys and
one year ago their stock was selling for
$49.26.

Today you can grab it if you move really fast
for a Buck Fifty!

Like all newspaper chains
this one is also taking that twisting slide
down the porcelain bowl. Lots of ideas on saving
money are popping up from HQ and none of them
put much of a smile on the faces of the worker bees.

With the New York Times being rumored to
be less than 11 months away from turning off
the lights and calling it a night print
boys and girls all over the country are starting to quiver.


The local radio chains are also
wondering what is up with their
owners.

Journal Communications, Inc broadcasting segment consists of 37 radio stations and nine television stations in 12 states, as well as the operation of two additional television stations under local marketing agreements.WCYQ-FM, Q93.

Locally they own; WWST-FM, "Star 102.1,"
WKHT-FM Hot 104.5
and WKTI-AM Studio 1040.


Since Oct. of 2008 the stock has fallen from 5.50 to
1.62.


But hold on, their stock is actually
exciting when you hold it up to Citadel Broadcasting!

These are the fellows that made James A. Dick
so much richer than he already was and put a
smile on Bobby's face that time can't erase!

Yep they own, WIVK, NewsTalk, Sports Animal,and Whatever the name of that Oldies station is.

In 2004 Citadel Stock was being gobbled up at
$25.00 a share...according to the market today it is
at .16 cents a share.

Friends it tant pretty out there
and unless THE ONE can get the banks
to lend rather than hoard all those
dollars us TAX PAYERS are giving them,
people will continue to not BUY and by not
buying those who sell will continue to not
ADVERTISE!

Still it is almost the weekend
so lets give THE ONE till Monday to at least
fire Barney Frank. If by then you are still
in need of a 700+ credit rating to borrow
a few hundred to buy that fine used truck from
Easy Eddy's Motors, Zeek suggests we fire up the
pine knots and pull an Iceland on D.C.


NICE COMMENTS
Here be the latest....

As always nothing is ever edited
and no matter how over the wall your
comments are they are so appreciated!



Tuesday, February 3, 2009 5:22:00 PM EST


I would rather the paper go under than any of the three TV stations. At least they try to report some news without making it a political statement.

Who buys the most local TV advertising and are they still buying?

Sounds like WATE is in the most trouble of the three. I like Gene and I also like the woman on in the morning. Lori is someone we all grew up with and she does a great job.

Ed...Ya know if the paper
expired you have to believe
some ego with money would
print a replacement. Sure it
would be smaller and on line, but
again there would be SOMETHING out there.
No matter how much you like or DON'T like
the KNS, we are better off WITH it than
without it.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 6:13:00 PM EST
Delete
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If that is true about the WATE stock then that company looks like it is going to go under.

Would someone else buy the station or would they have to buy the company.

What is a TV station like that worth in Knoxville and does that big house come in the deal?

Ed...The question is not would someone buy
the station or the company but more like
why? Right now it would take a very special
person to jump into any aspect of media.
Remember the reason the stock of any and all
of these places is dropping is evaporating
advertising dollars. Will those dollars come back?
If so how LONG before they do? Questions like
that make the folks with big dollars shy away
from buying most media right now.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 7:51:00 PM EST
Delete
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is anyone advertising now? How can either radio or TV stay on the air without selling ads?

I listen to HHH and his talk show is full of sponsors, so is Rush and Phil in the afternoon. Over on B 97 I never hear ads?

Ed...Sure there are some people buying but
not as many as last year and none are buying
as much. Everyone can keep drawing a check
as long as the parent company keeps sending them but
as you can see from the stock drops some of these
parent companies are in C.C.U. and starting to turn
blue very quickly.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009 1:10:00 PM EST
Delete
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A radio station that serves the local community well will survive. A jukebox will not.

By the way, on the TV thing, how come WATE's reporters continue to mispronounce Letalvis Cobbins' name? It's Letalvis, not Letavius.

ED...Jukebox radio is all over XM and
it is where more and more folks are going
when they just want their tunes. Key here is
those radio stations will never tell you
that school is closing due to the snow, what that giant
cloud of black smoke is over Kingston or
why those giant cracks are opening up in the yards
out in Halls. Keeping it local is the ONLY
way stations today can fight the real twenty five hits
in a row "pay" stations.










Anonymous said...



You write shitty stupid things in your own blog and you're the only one who thinks they're funny.

Ed....Zeek is headed to your trailer right now
with a case of TP and a loaded Crossman, better shutter the
windows and lock up the cat!


Sunday, February 1, 2009 7:22:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...

This is an Obmama hater blog and all those who comment are racists. As for the blogger, he is a racists from way back and that is why he was fired from the Halls News and all those radio stations.

Ed...Betty is that you?

Feb 3, 2009

HOW BAD IS IT?

Snow days are days when the
staff at THE MEDIA REPORT
stays home with a quart of
Jägermeister, their new
Michael Phelps Bong and
watches TV Land.

Days like this the
accounting department
often feels it is their duty to
turn out a post.

Their topic....

Could Knoxville become a ONE (local news)
TV Station market?

Here are their thoughts and
as always, no matter how ugly
or off the wall..YOUR thoughts are welcome!


To really understand more
about the situation the three
local TV stations (that offer news) are
in you kinda need to know something
about the companies that own them and
if they have the proverbial pot to
make water in?

Gannett Co., Inc Is the
parent company of WBIR TV.




One year ago Gannett Co was
finding buyers for their
stock at over thirty dollars a share.
Today GCI was trading
at a touch under five dollars.


Latest news on the Gannett stock is not good at all.

(Reuters) - "Moody's Investors Service on Monday cut its ratings on Gannett Co (GCI.N) to the cusp of junk territory and said it may cut them into junk, citing the company's ongoing and deepening revenue declines."

The upside is unlike most companies
Gannett has been steadily paying a nice
dividend since it went public many years ago.
The last they paid was over .40 a share.

The downside is...Gannett executives said last week the company's board would meet in February to evaluate its dividend.


WVLT is owned by Gray and
five years ago their stock was selling
for over 14 dollars a share. Today
try less than a half a dollar.

Locally WVLT has moved past WATE for the
number two ranking in the local news race and
WVLT is also the station for UT sports.
Can they beat WBIR in the local news
race? The answer is,can they afford
to invest the money to do it?

Rumor has it WVLT and WBIR
are sharing news video. For oldtimers the very thought of
competitors doing something like that makes eyes brows rise
and hackles dance. Still these are
not the old times these
are the SCARY times and
if the purpose is both
to save money and to continue to
push WATE further down the
local news ratings ladder
then there could be merit in the move.



Before you pass a second
collection basket at Prayer Meeting to
help the "From The Heart" staff
or those at WVLT, consider their former
competitor, WATE

For years Channel 6 was
always "this close" to making a
move on WBIR in the local
TV news race. NEXT BOOK
they were going to tie
and then it was just a matter of time
before they could raise
rates and raise the big
WE ARE NUMBER ONE
banner over Graystone.

Well that next book never
happened and today their parent company
Young Broadcasting is
in what Eddy referred to as being full
in the movie, CHRISTMAS VACATION!

Young Broadcasting was finding
buyers for their
stock in the beginning
of 2005 at TEN DOLLARS
a share!

By mid 2005 the stock
was under FIVE and it
finished out the 2007
year at less than THREE dollars.

Sound bad? Hey, those were the good years.

Today the
stock is between 1 and three CENTS a share.
It gets worse, MUCH worse....

NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Young Broadcasting Inc. (NASDAQ:YBTVA) announced today that it received a notification from the NASDAQ Hearings Panel that the Company’s common stock will be delisted from The NASDAQ Stock Market since the Company failed to meet certain of the NASDAQ requirements for continued listing. Trading will be suspended effective at the open of business on Tuesday, January 27, 2009.

So what happens now?


Normally when a company gets in this shape
another company will gobble them up
at a bargain price.
The problem Young will
have is there just
isn't that many out there
gobbling small television chains,
fact is
there isn't that
many gobbling large television
chains.

If you still wanta do the love offering
best do it for WATE.


Bottom line is the bottom line is causing all of
the local radio and TV stations to slowly bleed out.
Some much slower than others but all are feeling it.
It is sad to think of what is happening to 401Ks, raises,
and even the ability to hire when needed. Could
Knoxville become a one or two TV news market?
Before you answer remember when you never dreamed it
would become a ONE newspaper market.

Feb 2, 2009

SNOW DAY


First keep the ugly comments coming,
all will be posted next time out.

BUT FIRST....DANG BOY HOWDY...
the WHITE STUFF (show of hands of those
who would love to take a ball bat to the
next weather person who uses that worn out
line) came and we have pictures to prove it.

This evening a FOG
rolled in off Little
River and about 8 PM the sucker FROZE!


NO SCHOOL JUST HEARD CP AND
WALKER SAY IT ON THE RADIO SO IT HAS TO BE
TRUE!


It was so cold . . .
the squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!


It was so cold . . .
Grandpa’s teeth were chattering - in the glass!

It was so cold . . .
we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.

It was so cold . . .
the dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running!

It was so cold...
hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!

It was so cold . . .
the politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets!

It was so cold . . .
we had to push the house down the street to jump-start the furnace!

It was so cold...
everyone wanted to make antifreeze - so we hid her woolly pyjamas!

It was so cold...
when I turned on the shower - I got hail!

It was so cold...
my silly putty turned into serious putty.

Jan 30, 2009

HAPPY WEEKEND!!!



ONE DOWN ONE TO GO!!!

NOW...Here is a nice list of YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN
|TENNESSEE IF! Wish staff could take credit, but just like
the Knoxville News Sentinel we also MAKE UP or RIP OFF
what we print!


You've never met any celebrities....other than Fred Thompson.

"Vacation" means going to the family reunion.

You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.

You laugh when people from anywhere north of TN tries to say or spell "y'all"

It's "Mar-vull" not "Mary-ville"

It's "Knox-vull" not "Knox-ville"

A tabogan is a hat, not a sled.

You butter your hot biscuit by cutting it open, putting a slab of butter inside and closing it back up again.

Every town in East Tennesse has a "strip" and they're not particularly safe to be in at night.

Pigeon Forge is not pronounced with a French accent.

Gatlinburg does have an "L" in it and it should be pronounced.

Sales tax is 9.75%.

You shop at Walmart for groceries, not at a grocery store.

You don't drive in Knoxville on game-day. EVER.

You or your friends chew.

You can't remember the last time you saw snow.

You have a "piss on" sticker on your car window.

You know when Elvis Presley Day is.

You know all of the words to "Rocky Top."

Even after all these years, you're still in love with Steve McNair.

You avoid going anywhere near Bristol Motor Speedway on race weekend!

You think it's worth it driving to Alabama just to save 1.25% on the sales tax!

You eat "dinner" at noon and "supper" in the evening.

Your Wal-Mart has specific parking spots for horse and buggies.

You use "commode" in conversations and absolutely no one knows what you're talking about.

You barely get snow days because there's hardly ever any snow. Better yet, you get snow days if your local weather stations predict even the slightest bit of snow!

You and everyone you know go to one vacation spot-Panama City!

You know how to do the watermelon crawl.

Everything is COKE, and if you don't like it, tough.

You're in a Carhartt jacket one day, shorts the next, and no one thinks anything about it.

Everyone you know owns a truck, and at least one of those trucks are just painted with primer, or more colors than the damn rainbow.

You measure distance in minutes, not miles.

You drive through a rich neighborhood and see the wannabe redneck kids with their brand new fords and their designer holy jeans and cowboy hats.

Boomsday in Knoxville is equal to New Year's Eve at Tiimes Square

Knoxville becomes the 3rd largest city on every Saturday in the fall.

Sweet tea is THE DRINK...no questions, no exceptions. Most people from Tennessee begin drinking sweet tea even before they can drink out of sippy cups.

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You use "fixinto" like it's a real word. Example: "I'm fixinto go to the store"

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You know what a "DAWG" is.

You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".

Fried catfish is "the other white meat"

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.

You're convinced you don't need driver's ed-your father and uncles' pickup trucks in hay fields were training enough.

You wear shorts and a pullover in 40 degree weather.

You know there was no Civil War, but the War of Northern Aggresion.

You know that it's fork-a-deer river, not forked deer river.

All you think about is partyin at the creek..and yes its crEEk not crick...

Your high school schedule has or had ag (ffa) classes on almost every period except for lunch, and you skipped that to go to the ag cookouts.

Only TN would have a pizza place called "Possum's Pizza".... in Joelton. which has 3 syllables.

You can hold an hour-long conversation about the merits of the Hiwassee River versus the Ocoee River... including the traffic around each in the summer.

Your English teacher doesn't use proper grammar.

You know what ragweed is, and if you ate wild onions when you were a kid.

Your high school thinks "hunting" is a valid excuse for missing school.

You know three people related to Justin Timberlake.

You can play 9 holes at the country club in a wife beater, work boots, carhart shorts, piss drunk and no one thinks anything is wrong with it.

All there is to do on the weekend is go to a movie and then cruise around sonic or go to walmart, because they're the only two places open that late.

You and your friends throw parties at each others' houses every saturday during the fall to watch the game.

You graduated high school in the same building where cows are auctioned.

You'll be damned if you will buy bar-b-q sauce made in Kansas City.

You like the Vols, but hate Vol fans!!!

You have ever been snipe hunting or even if you know what snipe hunting is.

There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

You can drive down the road and wave at every single vehicle that you pass and at least 95% will wave back. 90% of the people you pass you know. Half of the ones that don’t wave back will flip you off.

You have a mayor named Willie.

You know who cooter brown is....or if you've even been drunker than cooter brown!

You know that what the rest of the world calls the Rebel Flag, is actually the Battle Flag of the Tennessee Confederate Army.

You know that the University of Memphis has a football team.

Snow days are unheard of. RAIN days, on the other hand, are quite frequent in middle tn

The majority of the people you know don't talk on a cell phone while driving down the road. instead they use cb radios.

You think it's perfectly normal to see trailers parked next to the Bristol Motor Speedway two weeks before the big race.

You've watched a baby possum eat out of the dog's food bowl, then woke up the entire family to show them.

You live to go to the Redneck Riviera.

Your pickup truck makes a monster truck look like a toy.

You know that taking Poplar Ave. will get you anywhere you need to go in the city of Memphis

Fred Smith is currently putting you through college...not your parents.

Nothing will ever compare to a Saturday in Neyland Stadium.

You have to convince your out-of-Tennessee friends that they REALLY DID have a World's Fair in Knoxville.

You know you're from tennessee when you say "lay in the floor" in stead of "lay on the floor."

It takes an act of God to get into your family's, boyfriend's, or best friend's truck. That's why God made cinderblocks!

You can't tell your scars from your bug bites.

You go fishin all the time and don't complain about the smell.

You actually know what a tater gun is and how to build and shoot one.

There are more cars in your front yard overgrown with grass then in a small dealership.

You have more fun at the local go kart track for 5 minutes than you do at Dollywood for the whole day.

You remember Opryland and riding your first roller coaster!

Your family considersfried chicken and mashed potatoes a huge deal, and they actually look forward to it.

You consider a "cool down" below 95 degrees.

You get out of school for NASCAR events, but not for Martin Luther King Jr. day.

You know that the difference between a fiddle and a violin is that the violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."

You learned the electric slide and how to square dance in your elementary school gym class.

You eat turnip greens for money and black eyed peas for good luck in the new year on Jan 1st of every year.

Your town has a barbecue festival.

Your police force is in federal penitentiary, half of the citizens got indicted on charges of cock fightin, and most of your friends and family are still makin good ol' shine.

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you’re done or it's too dark to see.

Your favorite shirt is orange cause you can wear it to the game on Saturday, huntin' on Sunday, & to work for the highway dept. on Monday and you never have to change!

If you're late for school because you get stuck behind a tractor pulling hay or tobacco....and its excused everytime.

If you know that you can go 70 on Pellissippi when the speed limit is really only 55...the only people who go 55 are from out of state.

If you even know what Pellissippi is.

If you have a "Fair Day" where you can go to the county fair instead of school...and its excused.

If pinto beans and corn bread are included in EVERY meal.

If there are 20 or more people at every holiday, and they're all immediate family.

At family reunions half the family brings Fried Chicken, half the family brings Biscuits and Tater Salad, and the other half brings Sweet Tea.

You have 4 lawn mowers and you never know which one is gonna work.

If grillin with charcoal is the only way...gas grills are for yankee idiots who cant wait.

There's no need to throw the food out, give it to the dogs.

You order your meat BURNT, not well done.

You order Greens and Grits with everything.

You bleed VOL ORANGE!

You got your first shotgun on your seventh birthday.

At family reunions one part of the family brings Fried Chicken, another part brings the Biscuits and Tater Salad, and the other part brings Sweet Tea.

You say granma and granpa, without the "d."

You consider a visit to the Jack Daniel's Distillery to be a cultural experience (as opposed to say a museum). And, it's mandatory for every Tennessean to go at least

Jan 27, 2009

So what do YOU think

Zeek rolled in about half past late
last night and said D.C. is
still excited about the
new leader of the free
world.

Our fashion editor Lacy Nightie
said the small explosion over
the new First Ladies dresses
is now no more than a slight
break of wind.

Apparently all of the famous
African American designers
were up in trees over the
two dresses because none of their
lines were considered?


All is well now after
word filtered down from the big house
that in the future all designs will be
considered, not just those made and worn
by white folk.

With that small but ugly
incident behind them, the
new first couple has jumped
right into the exciting world
of national and world affairs.

Zeek was much too tired to work
but he did suggest we ask you the
gentle and well groomed reader to
give us your opinion of the new
administration.

Vote in the poll and feel free to
post your thoughts. As always
you will never be identified or
edited.

So..What DO you think?

Knoxville lost the last of
the night time radio personalities.
He will be missed.

Jan 22, 2009

MADE BAIL

Zeek has made bail, covered
a big story in D.C. broke another
mega story and is headed West to
the Acadameny Awards!


Dispatches from the road
by Zeek Riddings..


Great news gentle reader,
FOX NEWS done made my bail and
I got out last night. When
the D.C. police found I was
"connected" they moved me out
of the holding tank and right into
the Marion Shepilov Barry, Jr SUITE!


This morning your hard working
Journalist is on the case!
Soon as I walked out of the can
I was slipped a photo that
proves the Miracal on the Hudson
plane crash was FOWL play! Check this
out!

I love this town...still dark out
and I done broke a story that
could get me the Pulitzer Prize (provided
I can beat out the KNS and their coverage
of who got the Ragsdale football txs)!

The steps of the D.C. police department
are a hotbed for inside news!

A sharp dressed man noticed my
Press badge, still stuck in my
skimmer and started whispering real low to me
about some senate hearing?

I told him to speak up and
he said because he was
dang near hung a few times for talking
to the press he could only talk from
deep in his throat.

Anyway, this Deep Throat told me that
the Senate committee considering Mr Tim Geithner
had not only given him the high sign, the official
tie tack, the badge and the
secret handshake, but that they were working with
him on a “comprehensive plan” to deal with the banks and hoped to unveil it soon.

The big scoop
is according to Deep Throat, Geithner will be
nothing more than a front man!
Yep the two fellers that are going
to be pulling the strings and getting the
doors of the banks open again are
Bernard L. Madoff and a guy named
Dennis Bolze.

Deep Throat said they had
cracked more banks than John Herbert Dillinger
and for just a few percentage points off the top
they could have the
entire country swimming in
money by next FRIDAY!

Before I could talk to him further he
ran off into a parking garage yelling something
about how he would call me at the Post?

I tried to tell him I worked for the Media REPORT
but he just give me a crazy look and ran into the
shadows?


My last big scoop came from
Alec Baldwin (one on 30 Rock
who likes to give his kid
parental advice over the phone)
considering the just announced
nominations for the Academy
Awards.

Now if you be one of the
few who manage to stay up to
watch that thing be warned,
here is a list of the winners.
SO go back to the Drudge Report
or E Bay if you don't want to
know who got what.

Fine...
Again this came right from the
top so you can make book on it!

Here are the nominees
and me and Alec's picks
for the winners!

Best Picture: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,"
Good name but how far can you go with an article of clothing and a hundred dollar bill? LOOSER!

"Frost/Nixon," Great new drink
at the D.Q. but not much of a movie.

"Milk," This one really had a chance if
Anna Nicole hadn't checked out after having that baby.

"The Reader," Sorry but the original "WEEKLY"
beat this one hands down, remakes never win squat.

"Slumdog Millionaire." GREAT MOVIE, THE WINNER,
HAS IT ALL, CAN'T MISS!
Love the scene where
Al Gore goes back to his
rental house in Tennessee and
tells the tenants there is
nothing wrong with the toilet
and if they had just left it outside where it was suppose to be they
never would have had that godawful
smell in the closet!

BEST Actor: Richard Jenkins, "The Visitor"
Richard was OK but come on he
is way to young to play old man
Sheridan Whiteside,
he never was in a wheelchair and
the thing wasn't even set at Christmas..LOOSER;


Frank Langella, "Frost/Nixon"
Frank gets a thumb up for
being a Mexican but he never
did get the hang of the Smoothie Machine
and between you and me looked really
stupid in that white hate and coat...LOOSER;


Sean Penn, "Milk"
Sean is Jeff Spicoli
always has been and
always will be,
even with them giant Cha Cha's he had
implanted for this movie,
it just didn't work for him.


Brad Pitt, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Truth is
Brad's older brother, Prune
was the first pick for this movie,
now that guy could guarantee movement
toward the box office
and his fans never ever left their seats when he was doing his thing.
But when something about him kinda got
hung in the teeth of the producers
they went with Brad
thus flushing away any chance they had for a win.

Mickey Rourke, "The Wrestler.
Until he added
another ten pounds PSI to
his lower lip this guy
was so nothing,
now after visiting the Pilot and paying
three quarters for his air
he is on top again...THE WINNER!"

Jan 21, 2009

ZEEK IS ALMOST BACK






Zeek Riddings
Exclusive for The Media Report
Any unauthorized copies will
be confiscated. Copyright laws
apply.


I DONE SEEN IT ALL!

by Zeek Riddings
Publisher, President,
CEO, COO, CRA and P
of the entire Political
Lie and Innuendo Department
of The Media Report.



After giving a young man dressed in
a fake fir coat, hat, gloves, shoes and
mask,a crisp five dollar bill
for an all access laminate I done found
myself in the crypt of the Capitol. Gentle
reader I was so close to Jimmy Carter I could
have bounced a quarter off his old lady's
Botox filled jaw! As they was preparing to head out to the platform the Carters and the Clintons were forced to occupy the same cramped space.

Jimmy Carter gave the Clintons the Buckhead Brush Off and went right over and warmly, kissed Barbara Bush dead
on the mouth WITH TONGUE. But as Carter passed fellow Democrats Bill and Hillary Clinton, the two men did not appear to acknowledge each others presence at all.

I did manage to hear
Jimmy say something about the least Bill could have
done when he was raking in all that Katrina money
would have been to have given a few hundred million
to the Billy Carter Memorial Library and Road House. On a
a personal note I have visited the BCMLRH and can tell you
the money is much needed. Despite being a Democrat Only
Joint the only beer they can afford to serve is BUSH.


Less than an hour before Barack Obama took the oath of office, I flashed my I HATE SARAH BADGE and got
into the ABC News booth.
Just as I walked in Charles Gibson (I called him
Chuck and he warmed right up) spotted former Vice President Al Gore
. Suddenly Chuck got this glazed look
in his eyes, and he started fantasized about how this could have been Gore's last day in office, not George W. Bush's.
No kidding, His eyes rolled further back in
his head and I thought he was going to pull
a Ted Kennedy and fall face first into
a salad plate! Chuck said..."Had he gotten a second term," "had he been elected president in the first place in the year 2000, and then gotten a second term -- he would be there as the outgoing President of the United States."

Well someone had to do something so I
slapped him so hard dem glasses flew right off
his nose,and I yelled "Charlie WAKE UP SARAH
IS OUTSIDE WITH AN AUGHT SIX AND SHE IS
LOOKING FOR YOU!" Like Lazarus Mr. Gibson rejoined
the living, pulled out his GLOCK and went all
Chuck Norris on me. I done slid out the side
door as one of his producers darted him from
across the table. CLOSE CALL!

After the gun thing with
Chuck, ABC security
noticed the wet ink on
my pass and things went south.
Lots of beatings, got water
boarded three times and
when I still wouldn't tell
them who I was working for they
threatened to show me naked pictures
of Harry Reed and Nancy Pelosi doing
the Dirty Deed!

Gentle reader there is much more
but my eyes are about shut and
the guard is going to take my
Blackberry on his next pass so I better
sign off for now. I did manage to
cut a fast deal with FOX that if
they would post bail I would
run pictures of some of the reasons
they are the most watched Cable News Network!







Jan 18, 2009

MLK DAY

MLK day to some is just a
day to get out of work. Others
find it a day to remember
the 60s and to many OLD
radio folk it be the day
one famous D.C.
radio kid done stepped in it
and slid all the way to
the front door and the parking lot!


Doug "The Greaseman" Tracht
was shocking when Howard was
still a gentile and Imus was
YOUNG! As most who were
good in those days his bumper hitch
had all the chrome rubbed off (no really
that thing he used to hook his trailer
to the car with) and radio stations were
scared to both hire him and even more scared
the competition WOULD hire him!
He has worked for:


* WRC AM 980 1973-1974 (Washington, DC)
* WPOP AM 1410 1974-1975 (Hartford, Connecticut)
* WAPE AM 690 (now FM 95.1) 1975-1982 (Jacksonville, Florida)
* WWDC FM 101.1 1982-1993, 4/5/2008 (Washington DC)[1]
* WZGC FM 92.9 1991-1996 (Atlanta, GA)
* WYSP FM 94.1 1993-1996 (Philadelphia, PA)
* WJFK-FM 106.7 1993-1997 (Washington, DC)
* WARW FM 94.7 1997-1999 (Washington, DC)
* WDMV AM 700 2002-2005 (Washington, DC)
* WMET AM 1160 2005-2007 (Washington, DC)
* syndicated 3/5/2001-4/5/08
* WWDC FM 101.1 April 2008-October 2008 (Washington, DC)
* WFYV FM 104.5 October 1, 2008- Present (Jacksonville, FL)
* web-based radio, 11/07-Present getalife.tv

AND unlike so many
who got started in the early 70s he STILL
is in the business!

So what does this guy have to do
with MLK DAY?

OK, remember how Imus brought down the wrath of
Al and Jessie when he said the University of Tennessee
Lady Vols were flat beautiful players but when referencing
their opponent in the National Championship game..Don
criticized their hair style and their
practices of courtship? Got him canned for six long
months..BUT it paled in comparison to what
The Greaseman did twenty years earlier.

In 1985, while with WWDC in Washington, Tracht created an uproar by making an on-air crack about Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, celebrating the life and accomplishments of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., saying, "Why don't we plug four more and get the whole week off?" followed by, "Come on, now, you know I don't mean nothing!"




NOW many think that was THE
biggest politically incorrect
planned ad lib of all all time, but
hang on, the Grease had ONE more
left in him!

In February 1999, while at WARW (now WTGB), Tracht made a comment about James Byrd, who was murdered in 1998 by being dragged behind a pickup truck by two white supremacists. The Greaseman had been playing a song by Lauryn Hill. Tracht then stated, as a reference to the quality of her music, "and they wonder why we drag them behind trucks." After the comment, he immediately stated that he "didn't mean nothing." But it didn't help ease the backlash. This incident proved catastrophic to his radio career, igniting a firestorm of protest from listeners of all races, including Donnie Simpson, who savaged Tracht on his morning show on sister station WPGC-FM. Not only was Tracht quickly fired from WARW, but also he lost his position as a Volunteer Deputy Sheriff in Falls Church, Virginia.


Flash the Gray Lady,
better know as the paper
we love to hate could be
bought out buy a...
RICH Mexican dude named SLIM!
We kid you not, this is SO cool!
Check it out.





Zeek ran up to
the Big Dog Factory Outlet
Sunday after his new W&D
shrunk two of his prized Big Dog
long sleeve shirts and was SHOCKED
to hear the store was closing! Not just
the one store...but ALL of the Big Dog
stores! Reports from the "help"
at the store said not only were they
gone so was Echo Shoes along with nine
other big name stores in that mall.
Also, like Big Dog
it wasn't just in that location but it was
ALL of their locations...closed, gone, history
nothing more than a dream that was! Zeek did
report the Candy Kitchen was still thriving
and this months dipped caramel apples were
exceptionally good.


Enjoy the day off, don't forget HBO has
full coverage Tuesday of the
coronation!

Jan 16, 2009

ZEEK HEADS TO D.C.

CHECK OUT THE WEEKEND STORIES
ON OUR FAVORITE EAST TENNESSEE
RADIO HISTORY BLOG!



The guy who sent in about
his canning at the old WNOX
is talked about around the
campfires and weed patches
of old DJs still living illegally
on several tower sites.

Zeek overheard this really
OLD, grizzled, tired, spiritless
alleged DJ tell the
following story about Allen Dennis,
this mornings contributor
to 101.



Allen Dennis story as told by
OGTSDJ........and remembered
by Zeek:


"I remember a few weeks after
I got to WETE from WKGN
our PD (Don Patrick) left.

Don was one of
those very FEW management
types who both had a clue
and could make you work harder by the fact
that you so respected him.
Anyway, he left and
Heaven Help Us the GM took over.
That guy (the GM) is dead now
so I won't say much
about him except that
whenever SALES takes
over programming things turn dark very fast.

One morning someone
spotted Allen in the
GMs office and the word got out that
he was talking to him about becoming PD.

Yep, doves were released, really ugly bookkeepers were
hugged and just
to make sure the thing
would happen the
all night guy went to the basement
to prepare the human sacrifice.

Sadly, I guess Allen figured out the real deal
...once SALES gets their
fingers into programming they never let go...
and he exited the building.

It would have been a
fun ride because WETE
had the power back then
and later when Basic Media
bought it and turned
it into WRJZ that power,
coupled with the late Bob Kagan
gave Knoxville a station
that jumped right in the
car with them and changed
all their dial settings to 620





Zeek is headed to the coronation on the 20th and has been working
like a motivated field hand to become a Democrat before
he hits D.C.

His first challenge is to find a glimmer of fact
in the Al Gore Global Warming agenda.
Spending many quarters out of the Media
Research Investigative Budget, Zeek hired
the noted Meteorological scientist,
Von ExplodingBeeker to look into the
situation.

Dr B as Zeek likes to call him,
suggested Zeek take a fast naked run
in the trailer court this morning, starting
at his own single wide front door, going down one full
block, circling the meth lab, broad jumping the
block from the 81 Vega next door and returning to the
Riddings mance by way of the mud
room. Adding that the nude adventure would
give Zeek a first hand impression of the
seriousness of Al's Global Warming WARNING!

While Zeek "blue streaked" the community on wheels,
Dr. B energized his IBM and found the following CURRENT
facts on Global Warming:


1 Forecasters say temperatures in the upper Midwest could be the coldest in years Friday as chilly Arctic air keeps spilling south from Canada.


2 The coldest day so far this winter will grip much of the eastern-third of the nation today. The bitter cold will begin to ease ahead of the next clipper set to deliver snow to the Midwest and Northeast this weekend.


3 Chicago Spends A Second Day In Minus Land
Area Plagued By Dangerous Subzero Temperatures, Windchills In -50s


4 Last but not least the learned expert
inserted the following note. "If you still think Al isn't just pulling his middle leg
on Global Warming check out a few facts right here!"


Flash...PETA is PISSED!

Native American President of PETA.. Freezenutbagoffinwinterifnowearfur
says the forgotten victim in yesterdays miracle on the Hudson
plane crash is our feathered Canadian friends, who most feel are being unjustly singled out as the cause of the crash!
Sighting that the biased media only counted HUMAN survivors from the water landing, FNBOIWWNF has produced this picture of the REAL victem of the the story.

Airport authorities have already responded
to PETA and have dispatched the following
RESPONSIBLE and MOTHER EARTH LOVING men
to the scene of the problem.

Jan 11, 2009

LIBERALS HATE THESE

Zeek woke up, left the jail,
came to the office and smiled this morning.
Both good teeth and the six new gold
ones were gleaming in the glare
of the old, 100 watt, energy burning,
GE bulb dangling over his
DELL. Right there on his state of
the art, 15 inch black and white
monitor were three things that
will SO upset the FAR LEFT!

1. Clint's No. 1 'Gran Torino' Revs Box Office

The PROGRESSIVES or yesterdays left wingers flat
hate Clint, they never miss an opportunity to
remind his fans he voted for SARAH and john.
When this movie was in the final stages they called it
racists and referred to this 78 year old American Icon
as over the hill!

2. Earth on the Brink of an Ice Age!

OK Zeek admitted this story was found in
THAT paper but still according to his
research team, Al Gore has LOST millions in
just the last two hours in his ... Save
The Earth Buy My Carbon Credits...company
and both QVC and HSN have canceled his two
big shows this weekend!


3. A presidential welcome for USS George H.W. Bush


Yesterday FOX NEWS carried this live and Zeek
said he was so impressive he would
have re-enlisted if it were not
for his advanced age and long
rap sheet. Naturally CNN was
too busy lauding the new Obama talking point...
of "ONLY THE GOVERNMENT
CAN SAVE THE ECONOMY" to give it
more than a mention.


The local Knoxville paper FINALLY
reported the return of their
favorite son, former mayor Victor Ashe.
Zeek reminds all MR readers to just scroll
down a few posts if they care to see
where he beat the local rag to the punch!
The KNS readers were asking just what might
the former mayor do now that he is without
employment? Zeek got on the question like
a beagle on a pork chop!

Answer?

Inside sources say
VA has an open invitation to return to
his old job as the Keebler Elf. No conformation
as yet from the Keebler company.



Just in...
our fav EAST TN RADIO HISTORY BLOG
has a great story about the days
when folks listened to radio!
One historical footnote...when
you peruse this story you will
notice the way WIVK won the morning
ratings war was by combining
two stations against one! Yep, numbers
from both the AM and the FM were added
together by the Frog to give them a win!
ARB didn't allow it but sales weasels from
the Country Giant ignored it. Finally,
after much lobbing by the station ARB said
it was OK to combine the numbers to give
Mr. Dick's side the win! Great work
by 101 and their giant staff to
preserve and remember the OLD DAYS
of radio!

Jan 10, 2009

BREAKING NEWS!!

Subject: this just in



The Miami Conference on Christology, meeting for the past two weeks, issued its findings this morning in a 1,456 page treatise. Theological scholars from all over the world, including the Darrell K. Royal Chair of Theology and Athletics at Harvard University, declared, without equivocation, that contrary to recent claims, Tim Tebow is NOT, in fact, Jesus. While the report has been met with outrage in some circles, theological faculty at Yale, Fuller, Gordon-Conwell, Oxford, and Cambridge issued statements supporting the conferences findings. Pope Benedict followed by issuing an encyclical entitled, “Postmodernism and Tim Tebow: The Christological Conundrum.” Roman Catholics, especially those at the University of Notre Dame, hailed the Pope for his strong and clear leadership in strongly defining where Tim Tebow fits in the pantheon of saints (just below Mother Theresa) and whether current Catholics can pray to Tebow (“only in dire circumstances.”) The Pope denied rumors that following last night’s game, Tebow had turned the Gatorade into wine and fed the crowd of 70,000 with only four hot dog buns and two hamburger patties, with 74 garbage bags of buns left over. Representatives from Benny Hinn Ministries immediately tried to take credit for providing the food.



Scholars were still undecided on the significance of Urban Meyer’s post game comments when he said, “As Charlie Strong and I walked away from Tebow’s house after our first recruiting visit, he said to me, ‘Urban, were not our hearts burning as we sat along side him on the couch?”



Representatives from the PCUSA, United Methodist Church, Southern Baptist Convention, Episcopal USA, and Worldwide Lutheranism planned to make a statement today in support of the Miami Conference findings, denying, yet again, that Tim Tebow is Jesus.

Jan 5, 2009

09 is already fun



Zeek is out of jail, Jimmy is going
to be the new Governor of the great
state of Tennessee and Heaven help us all
NBC is trying to ban ANN COULTER for life!

Over the glorious Christmas Season, just
a few days before Santa arrived TVA
made a real ash out of its self. Get it
ASH? Ok, never mind.

Anyway the lame duck democrat Governor
did nothing to help those "Sludged" when
the dam broke and now Zeek says TVA
is calling in a major ash expert to
clean the mess up. Yep here he comes,
just flew in from Warsaw and boy are my arms tired,
your friend and mine, the man who put the E in ash,
bucket ready and mind spinning...mr clean up himself....
former Lord Mayor VICTOR ASHE!


This man of action hit the ground running
and risking death and a sever head cold,
took up a stick, walked into the highly
toxic mess and parted the sludge! as the Hosannas rang from the
heavens and the lawyers raced across the parted
muck to get to their new clients creatures of the forrest
and assorted farm animals bowed their heads and gave
great thanks for the return of The Victor!

Just yesterday morning former
number one network TV morning show
NBC TODAY SHOW, took a
mighty dump on Ann Coulter.

After receiving the largest advance
ever given a conservative author for her
new book
Guilty: Liberal ‘Victims’ and Their Assault on America
the TODAY SHOW begged Ms Coulter to guest.
At the very last minute they not only cut her double
appearnece, one before 7 and one between 10 and 11, they
announced she was going to be banned for LIFE from
the fading morning show.

Hey, things like this are just too
hard to make up! Check it out right here