DON of the IMUS is
back (we think we
added a link yesterday to
this BREAKING story but
we can't remember and
are toooo lazy to look)
with what AL Sharpton
calls "DISTURBING" remarks.
Excuse me but the staff
was wondering if you kids
felt the same as they about
Al? Their solution was a sock
(athletic, dirty, very old) placed
just past his teeth and held in place
with Super Glue? Whata think?
Anyway this morning poor OLD
and we are talking biblical OLD
Imus was using the MISUNDERSTOOD
me line again. Bless his heart listen AL and
others who are so on edge, the guy is
just trying to do a RADIO SHOW!
Oh and even on RFD TV he has more viewers
than HARD BALL and COUNTDOWN combined!
It is about time for the LEAVE THE OLD MAN
ALONE T shirts and bumper stickers. Oh and
while we are at it lets get the feds to
investigate all of Al's non profits and
all of his tax returns...JUST FOR FUN!
Ya know the staff
had another meeting and
for the life of them
they couldn't figure out
how a story about the passing
of GC
could generate SO MANY letters about local TV weather folks?
You people really DO need to get out more!
As for weather...here is some BREAKING NEWS
if you are reading this blog you can
click over to a wash bucket full of sites
and get the same misinformation as the kids use
on TV! No really and you can get radar that
will show you where that big old wind is
right dang now and give you a time
line of when you will see the bird bath
and the rusted out washing machine lift off
the back deck and land on top of one another
in your neighbors exposed drain field! Hey
you can even click on certain Google earth
things (they are in these weather sites) and
see what your house looked like BEFORE the
Big Wind From Paduka blew it to Townsend!
Anyway here be the letters, after you
check them out there is one last
list of Carlin thoughts and they are just
wonderful.
Anonymous said...
First in this current round of home-goings:
Jim McKay,
who was one of the finest sportscasters ever.
He actually won two emmys for
his reporting during the '72
Olympics (the terrorism Olympics);
one for sports, and one for news.
Ed....Thanks we remember NOW.
Monday, June 23, 2008 10:19:00 AM EST
Anonymous said...
I saw that weather girl
this weekend.
She was scared to death.
Ed....Heck with folks like us
picking at her can you blame the kid?
Monday, June 23, 2008 10:19:00 AM EST
Anonymous said...
If you are talking about sports guys
it was McCay who died first.
I am sure some old film actor
died but they are doing that all the time now.
Ed....Got it, as for the actors are
Jimmy Stewart, Joey Bishop, Dale Evans,
or John Wayne still dead?
Monday, June 23, 2008 10:21:00 AM EST
Anonymous said...
There is a 4th now!
According to WIMZ they are saying
Jimmy Buffett is dead!
Ed....NOW for the car and what is
behind curtain number 2 tell us
the NAME of the former WIMZ
DJ that reported Jimmy B. dirt
napping!
Monday, June 23, 2008 10:21:00 AM EST
Anonymous said...
I like the old days when the
weather girl was dead drunk
and falling into the map!
Best time to watch was on
weekends and LATE, she must have
been busting a few shots before
the 11 because by the time
they went to her she was knee walking!
It was right up there with Johnny Mountain in drag!
The ones today are just
not fun and in a few years
will make fine hello people at WalMart.
Ed....Memories, like the corners of my mind.....
Monday, June 23, 2008 1:22:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
re: TV Weather Guessers
rambling in circles bout weather,
what happened to Craig on 8?
Todd on 10 has always been good,
but is rarely on, or at least at my house.
Scott on 8 is good ole local boy, and good
weather guy too.
Witcher on 10 at noon,
was not present today,
but some little teeny bopper
was a flailing her hand over
this big green blob on the
weather map wall.
Witcher seemed to be having
a good day when he could find
the weather porch without a map leading outside.
Rupert, Tallassee, Tennersee
Ed....Craig was one of the best at 8 and
is very much missed. Rumor was he was headed to
Nashville. It is a much bigger market than Knoxville
and he would sure do great there.
As for Witcher, is he still there?
Not sure who the child was with the hand on
the big green ball? Staff wanted a HULK joke
here but due to our G rating we opted out.
Monday, June 23, 2008 1:48:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Todd is the very best at the weather.
The only time he bothers us is when
he has an orgasm over a big storm coming.
I like any of the women doing
weather on WVLT and I hate the
weather man on 6. He never gets excited
and it makes it hard to watch him.
He should take a lesson from Todd!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008 8:50:00 AM EST
Ed....Say if you are the dude or dudette
who wrote about Hammers, the staff is
blinded by your brilliance. No kidding
you are GOOD!
Here are a few things from the great mind of
George Carlin...
George Carlin SAID:
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
5 comments:
Here are some more Carlinisms I have copied and pasted. Feel free to edit out any duplicates.
Only in America..do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.
Only in America..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America..do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME :!:, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Anybody slower than you is an idiot, but anybody faster is a maniac.
The caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
Meow means woof in cat
Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
What year did Jesus think it was?
Mostly, language is a tool for hiding the truth.
Nobody knows what's next, but everybody does it.
Their stuff is :!: and your :!: is stuff.
If you dont think your life is filled with worthless :!:, try selling it.
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Just because the monkey is off your back dont mean the circus left town.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
If god had intended us not to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
It's disturbing that doctors call their work, practice.
I got a kick out of watching Imus make fun of the media Tuesday morning. Outside their studio at Madison Square Garden were several tv trucks camped out on the street looking for the big story. The trouble with that was the fact that Imus was two thousand miles away at his ranch studio in New Mexico, where he was conducting another of his Kids with Cancer summer camps. He laughed heartily at the media for being so stupid.
Mike Witcher is a pleasure to see on the Channel 10 weather, rather than the two backwoods gals who sound as if they're terrified to be on tv.
And Chris Budden (?) is starting to have the look of the Channel 8 women. Yummy! She needs to come out and cover my backyard softball games. I'll even let he score if she wants to play!
Imus and Carlin are commies and hate mongers. The local weather girls are harlots and smell of moonshine and illicit drugs.
Knoxville is the devil's play
ground and only Jim Baker and Jessica Hawn can save the city.
Gather at the river for a baptism
sunday, HASMAT suits will be provided.
I dated a weather girl in Nashville and she did not drink or smoke! She is now in Chattanooga
on TV and married.
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