JUNE IS TOAST

The last week of June started out like a
wild bull in a very small
Tupperware shop and ended
with everyone packing for
their summer vacation.


ONE ending salvo was
fired from a blog that the staff
had never heard of. Not a shock considering
the staff just found out that
girls no longer play half court
basketball and Channel 26 has dropped Romper Room.

The blog in question, Ktowndownlow
was discovered while sprinkling clandestine
posts on knoxviews.com and is asking for
a new logo or catchy saying that will represent
Knoxville, Tennessee.

Granted it was a very good blog idea
and granted staff was half way into
a case of Rolling Rock with no ideas
and granted staff would steal the dimes
off a dead whistle pigs eyes to hit a
deadline so it just figures both the idea
and a nice plug for the blog would end up
in the Friday MR.

After you jet over and check
out the logos/sayings on the above
mentioned blog we KNOW you will have
much better ones and we would love to
have them posted on MR.

Staff came up with these...NEW LOGOS
for KNOXVILLE!

1....Think Maryville with really crooked leaders!
2....Knoxville, flavoring the Tenneessee River for decades!

The rest were really kinda over the line,
but these will get you started. Post early and often!

Few fast notes came in this week,
here they be along with the Ed. thoughts.


Anonymous said...

Here are some more Carlinisms I have copied and pasted. Feel free to edit out any duplicates.


Only in America..do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.

Only in America..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America..do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.


EVER WONDER ...


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME :!:, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Anybody slower than you is an idiot, but anybody faster is a maniac.
The caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
Meow means woof in cat
Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
What year did Jesus think it was?
Mostly, language is a tool for hiding the truth.
Nobody knows what's next, but everybody does it.
Their stuff is :!: and your :!: is stuff.
If you dont think your life is filled with worthless :!:, try selling it.
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Just because the monkey is off your back dont mean the circus left town.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
If god had intended us not to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
It's disturbing that doctors call their work, practice.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 10:08:00 PM EST



ED....We can never get enough of
GC! Reported as the TRUTH, one cable news
network said the man had requested this to
be on his tombstone
"Weird, he was here a minute ago?"



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got a kick out of watching Imus make fun of the media Tuesday morning. Outside their studio at Madison Square Garden were several tv trucks camped out on the street looking for the big story. The trouble with that was the fact that Imus was two thousand miles away at his ranch studio in New Mexico, where he was conducting another of his Kids with Cancer summer camps. He laughed heartily at the media for being so stupid.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 10:16:00 PM EST



Ed....Did any of you notice
how the media backed away this time? Not
a clue why, but they just let this IMUS story
slide. Also AL Sharpy didn't say another
word after his first little burp. Don
made FUN Of it all week. As always
NEVER trust the media they could still
MAKE UP a story about the besmirching
of Pack Man, but time sure is running out.
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike Witcher is a pleasure to see on the Channel 10 weather, rather than the two backwoods gals who sound as if they're terrified to be on tv.

And Chris Budden (?) is starting to have the look of the Channel 8 women. Yummy! She needs to come out and cover my backyard softball games. I'll even let he score if she wants to play!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 10:23:00 PM EST



Ed.....Well I guess that answers the question
concerning Witcher still being at 10 or not? As
for your thoughts on getting a BIR staffer
over to cover the game in the yard, hey GREAT IDEA!
Get back to us after you call them and we will
send staff photog Larry The Lizard out to
shoot some snaps for the blog!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Imus and Carlin are commies and hate mongers. The local weather girls are harlots and smell of moonshine and illicit drugs.
Knoxville is the devil's play
ground and only Jim Baker and Jessica Hawn can save the city.
Gather at the river for a baptism
sunday, HASMAT suits will be provided.



Ed....AND THE CHURCH SAID
A THE HELL MEN! Jessica's body lift of
a few decades back is still working for
the old girl. Baker is bald as a cue ball
and staff said to tell you we love the smell of
moonshine in the morning!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 8:08:00 PM EST
Delete
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dated a weather girl in Nashville and she did not drink or smoke! She is now in Chattanooga
on TV and married

Ed....Well bless your heart!
Staff, staff wants to know if
you held her hand at prayer meeting?