NEW YEAR PREDICTIONS!

From Zeek, Modine Gunch,
the Gunch Brothers,
One Eye our fine Maintance Engineer,
Snaps our undercover photog,
and the hundreds of "Little People"
who work long hours
in the bunker to make
up most of the pure garbage
you read on the Media Report we
all wish you a

Happy New Year!

NOW, before things get way out of hand this year here are two real things that will solve the
energy and driving problems.

I love the first one...LADIES AND GERMS
FROM THE FOLKS THAT GAVE YOU THE FIRST
ATOMIC BOMB, WE PRESENT THE SOLUTION
TO POLLUTION, THE POWER OF THE HOUR,
THE DEAL TOO GOOD TO STEAL, ARE YOU READY...
HERE IT IS!

Nuclear power plants smaller than a garden shed and able to power 20,000 homes will be on sale within five years, say scientists at Los Alamos, the US government laboratory which developed the first atomic bomb.

HERE IS NUMBER TWO...WITH JUST A FRACTION
OF THE MONEY YOUR GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO GIVE
TO THE BIG THREE JOKES IN DETROIT

THESE GUYS CAN LOWER THEIR PRICE
AND PUT THESE BABIES IN ALL
OF OUR GARAGES!

Zero to 60 mph in less than 4 seconds with a top speed of 125 mph. But this is not the whole story. Because it has no clutch pedal and a very wide, flat torque curve, the acceleration of the Tesla Roadster is much more available to enjoy: just step on the accelerator and go.





As for the abundance of new and old
horribly crooked
elected officials
(local, state, and national)
Zeek is going back and forth on exposing them
in the MR or just becoming one.

And as for the media, you remember years ago this
was a MEDIA report..
well it will sure be here this time next year
and if we are extremely lucky
it just might transform back
into something we all enjoy.
OK the news will still be a mess, but
there is a glimmer of hope
that Dancing With The Stars,
30 Rock and American Idiot will be
replaced with Andy reruns,
light a candle and keep the faith it just might happen?








As Knoxville's local and some national newspapers
continue to die the death of a thousand
cancellations, ONE from the deep south
still finds enough breath to produce a
rather strong death rattle!

Check out this scribes thoughts on
2008 and what is going to be in 2009.

Zeek was scheduled on the big board
to write his predictions but with
New Years Eve so dang close he thought
this year he would save the Jandarms
the trouble and place himself under
house arrest.

He did send a few photo remembrances of
08 in by his good friend and
rummored to be latest life pardner, Moses Stackmouse

From the famously fat
list, Zeek says
Oprah
will ditch Steadman
and be Obama's elderly Monica!

Dipping further into
the A list of tomorrow,
Zeek says Knox County Mayor
Mike Of The Ragshillsanddales
will make a complete political
turn around, changing not only
his approval rating but also
skyrocketing him into the
office of Governor of Tennessee!
His first step toward Nashville will
be a complete face transplant. First
surgeons will remove one of his two
and then brilliantly change the remaining
face to look exactly like.................
T H I S!

Zeek's personal
undercover photographer
caught this picture of
the soon to be NEW MIKE, after
half of the surgical procedures were
completed,
headed into what the locals
THOUGHT was a closed Baptist
Hospital!

ONE LAST THING....
The famed OLD MAN BAND (The Mountain Folk Reunion)
has managed to post some tunes on U Tube..I know God
Help us ALL! The link is on their blog

Just like most folks today they are looking for
a job so if you fall in love with these elderly
warblers e mail them right here for booking information!

SOUTH LAND BOOKS!

GREAT FUN Saturday evening at South Land Books!
Zeek stood in the RAIN with his
sign and around 5 PM he started
throwing himself in front of cars!
Worked like a champ, traffic stopped,
Life Star landed several times and
those caught in the jam came on in
to South Land Books for the in
store!

First guy in, sporting
a FAMOUS festive hat was
Maryville's most famous actor
David Dwyer. Get this, when
you read about David you will
say..OH YEA I HAVE SEEN THAT GUY
IN...!! Click right here to see
where you have seen him! David's
entrance was a harbinger (hell of
a good word, just found it in the back of
Reader's Digest) of things to come. Folks from
Washington State, Johnson City, Knoxville and yep
even Murvel rolled in and filled up the VIP seats!

Next in was Ed Harper, day job is not
important but his real money maker is
his band PISTOL CREEK CATCH OF THE DAY!
These guys are as eclectic as their music
and have a bigger following than Jim Jones!
Ed is always helping either with his band or
just by being there when money is to be raised
and YES he bought a Yuletide Dreams CD! GO RIGHT
here as in CLICK to find out more about PISTOL CREEK
CATCH OF THE DAY and to hear their great sound!

A mega GIANT hit of the show
was the all plastic RAIN SONG GUITAR!
This gentleman checked it out and after
the show we sat with him. Get this
he was a major Kingston Trio fan and
when we played Tom Dooley for him
at his table he sang along in HARMONY!
VERY nice guy and a good voice also!

Zeek wants to thank everyone who
came, all those who sang along
and especially those who BOUGHT the CD.
YOUR money is headed to the Blount County
Empty Pantry fund and is so appreciated!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!




Zeek hacked Santa's e mail late this afternoon
and if you have a good set of peepers
squint them down to BOY THAT IS SMALL..and
check it out!sometimes you can double click the picture and see it better...then again sometimes you can't.

Did your company can the
Christmas party this year?
Zeek feels your pain. The
MR went full bore again this year
and had it catered by the
Gunch Brothers and their
half sister Modene. FINE
EATING and after it was over
they cleaned up everhting but just
a few stray cups and napkins!
A couple of staff
got hot under the collar
when they discovered a shortage
of Christmas cake. Zeek confronted Modene
and she said she had no idea where it went.
After he put her under the very hot light, got
out his Jr. Water Board kid and confronted her with
pictorial evidence she confessed!

BIG WEEKEND!!

FRIENDS and those who
are kin to ZEEK..LISTEN UP!


ON FRIDAY as in THIS
FRIDAY
ZEEK is back on the radio (Knoxville 1040 AM)! If you can't
get the station on your crystal set then you can
hear it live on your DELL, just click here for
the link!

Most if not all of the two hours
(10A till 12Noon) will be pumping
the Yuletide Dreams CD and playing
cuts from it. THEN
on SATURDAY...at FOUR PM
Songs from Yuletide Dreams
will be presented LIVE as live can
be at South Land Books in Maryville!

Oh but there is MORE!!!

All day Saturday South Land Books will be
having festive things like free Cider and
cookies to celebrate this LAST Friday before
Ho Ho DAY!

Where is South Land Books?
THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK!
South Land Books is located in in the old Drake's Auto Parts building at 801 East Broadway. If you need directions feel free to give them a call...984 4847

If you like to play with map quest just punch in where
YOU are and then 801 East Broadway, Maryville, TENNESSEE!

You can also call them for directions which are so easy
Zeek can find the place late at night on the way home from
The White Swan!

East Broadway is across Washington (the big road that takes you to the Mountains) and turns into the Old Knoxville Hwy.

SO if you are coming from Knoxville, just float past the Hilton, hang to your left and skip right through Alcoa. When you pass the BIG OLE KROGER, go down the hill and turn LEFT at the big redlight on East Broadway. South Land is your second blding on your left. SEE TOLD YOU IT WAS EASY TO FIND!

Zeek will be in the parking lot with one of those hand held signs dancing around in his Statue of Liberty costume!

Remember all the money from the CD goes to the Empty Pantry Fund so whatever you do do NOT buy one from Zeek!

HUNTERS ARE WELCOME ALSO!

CHRISTMAS

CHRISTMAS IS NEXT WEEK!

NEWS BREAKING LIKE THE WIND!
DECEMBER 20, 4 PM, South Land Books,
Maryville, Tennessee
Yuletide Dreams CONCERT!
Click here for the details and
COME ON OUT!!!


Zeek has been working
on both finding YOU the
beloved MR reader the finest
gift ideas AND chronicling
some over the top outdoor
lighting displays!


Here is a beautiful
represntation of the "reason
for the season" done in lights
that Zeek found up on Nebo at
the Gunch boy's hunting lodge!



Zeek found this wonderful
tree behind his single wide.
Granted it was a "some assembly
required" project, but the time
and most importantly the effort were
well worth the results!


The big question this
CHRISTMAS 2008 is..
What do you buy the person
who now has nothing?

Zeek is on the case!

How about a
Gaseous Santa!


Get in the spirit (and smells) of the holiday season with our jolly Pull My Finger® Santa! The holidays will never be the same. No one can resist Santa when he sticks out his finger. 7" Seated Plush Character that shakes and makes a farting sound with 7 hilarious random remarks.

Not EXACTLY what you
are looking for?? OK
then how about...

Tired of all those boring WHOLE reindeer hanging around your house? This is your lucky day, because now you can get the part of the reindeer you really want...it's farting butt! Not only does this silly butt take up less room than a regular reindeer, when you press the button, it farts to the tune of "Deck the Halls!" Give it to your grandma as a gift, but be sure to also get one for yourself!.


OK, nothing on the list
that catches your eye? You
want more BANG for your buck?
HOW about a gift the entire
family can enjoy?
HOW ABOUT
A

Smith & Wesson Model 500 .50-Cal. Magnum Is The King Of Handguns
Smith & Wesson crowns the new king of handguns with its Model 500 S&W Magnum

ZEEK says if you want a real
ATTENTION GETTER, something that takes
ROAD RAGE to the next level AND
is now legal as can be inside the
GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAIN NAITONAL PARK,
then the new. 50 is just the ticket!
Check out what a "few" of the
proud owners are saying about their new
fun buddy!

"I have had my S&W 500 for a little over 2 years now. I put a nikon scope on it first, and after 5 shots, I shatterd the optics, so I put a Bushnell elite on it and it's a perfect match. To answer a few questions, yes it's a 200 yard man cannon, if you shoot a person with it, it will look like someone threw a car tire thru them, and the recoil is not too bad, you just have to learn how to hold it."



HERE IS A NICE SAFETY TIP!

"Don't put a thumb on the side of 500 Smith and Wesson when shooting it. I lost mine but they saved it. Also, don't rest it next to a tree. The gas pressure will blow the bark off the tree and possibly into your face.Keep both hands and fingers around the grips!"



HEY IT IS ALSO A DATE GUN!

"To anyone afraid to fire an S&W 500: Don't be! My Girlfriend (4' 10", 115lbs) shoots it FINE. Granted i have to stand behind her so she won't tumble back, but she still does fine."

Weekend MOON

COLDER THAN A LAWYERS HEART THIS MORNING, DOGS HAD TO PEE IN THEIR WATER DISH TO BREAK THE ICE!


Did you kids see the moon last night?

IT was very bright and dem with

college say it was because it was

as close to the earth as it gets.

They also said it will be

Fifty years from NOW before it

gets this close again.

Zeek said he will check it out

then..from the OTHER SIDE!



Zeeks twin brother that died at

birth
was on THE VOICE

Friday with the world famious SWANG! Reportedly the show...ten till noon Friday is
running all weekend on their site, just go over and try to figure out when it is on. Yep they are running the other 4 days also, but this one is BOUND to come around sometime?

Staff and Management will be having their
big Christmas Party this weekend up on Nebo and
will be back at work Sunday night, or when
the get bonded out.

Have a goodern!

THE ONE AND THE CROOK!!!!

GET THE SPIRIT...CLICK HERE

Hi Mr. Nut, welcome to Mr. RINGER!

OK, this thing with THE ONE is really getting fun
AND our local (news talk 990) radio station is
being chastised by none other than a
fine Halls Shopper/MetroPulse writer.

Da BEAN has surfaced and
is upset because a fill in host for
Phil yesterday said the growing cover up
between THE ONE and this new Chicago
Crook smells like the back end of Kroger when they
toss out the week old FISH!



"Axelrod this evening issued a statement saying. "I was mistaken when I told an interviewer last month that the President-elect has spoken directly to Governor Blagojevich about the Senate vacancy. They did not then or at any time discuss the subject."

Kids THE ONE is not even in OFFICE yet and
he is being linked to the Chicago Political Crime
Family. Great drama and scrambling on both the
Big Three (NBC, CBS and ABC) to spin and COVER
the facts along with nats like those who post on
knoxviews locally!




Zeek has been
glued to CNN for two days
watching the breaking story of
how THE ONE could very well
be involved in a really
slimy Illinois political
mess!

"Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich and his Chief of Staff, John Harris, were arrested today by FBI agents on federal corruption charges alleging that they and others are engaging in ongoing criminal activity: conspiring to obtain personal financial benefits for Blagojevich by leveraging his sole authority to appoint a United States Senator; threatening to withhold substantial state assistance to the Tribune Company in connection with the sale of Wrigley Field to induce the firing of Chicago Tribune editorial board members sharply critical of Blagojevich; and to obtain campaign contributions in exchange for official actions – both historically and now in a push before a new state ethics law takes effect January 1, 2009"

BUT HOLD ON there is MORE!!!

A former Illinois bank official, now claiming whistleblower status, says bank officials replaced a loan reappraisal that he prepared for a Chicago property that was purchased by the wife of now-convicted felon Tony Rezko, part of which was later sold to next-door neighbor Barack Obama.


SO what does this have to do with media?
Not much but with all the hard times
and the firings and the crazy amounts
of our money Congress is trying to
give to dieing companies, it is
just fun to see some GOOD news
for a change. As the Rev. Wright
says "Da Chickens is coming home to roost!"



If you have been wondering
what NBC is doing to
correct the WE SO SUCK
banner they have been awarded
check this out.“We are trying to right-size our reorganization,” said NBC Entertainment co-chairman Marc Graboff.

Another BIG bit of media
news comes from the Oprah
bunker.

"When it comes to her weight, Oprah Winfrey has always been straightforward. The talk show queen continues the honesty, saying in the January issue of "O" magazine out Tuesday that she now weighs 200 pounds and has "fallen off the wagon" when it comes to healthy living."

December 7th

Remember what they started
that Sunday morning was finally
ended in part by
Tennessee!

IF it TWERNT FOR BAD NEWS

I'D HAVE NO NEWS A TALL

Zeek got into a funk early today reading the
new new and abused KNS. Later he
quarried some of his learned
friends and felt worse.

He was told locally that
more than 2 and less than five
folks were pink slipped at
Citadel Broadcasting, (home of
WIVK, WOKI, NEWS TALK, and THE SPORTS ANIMAL)
along with more than one but less than two
over at JOURNAL home of STAR, WQBB, and
their new as yet to be named COUNTRY STATION.


He said those who are much higher up
the economic food chain than himself
see no end in sight to this major mess.

Sloshing down a quart of "Tonic" followed
by a pot of "SANG" tea our ace number one
soon to be award winning journalist said he still
felt no better after the cure.

Few more stories to make you wanta
take a pull on a jug rolled in this afternoon"


Milwaukee neighborhoods could print own money

"There is no stigma now because so many people have lost jobs," she said. "The joke is that the new status symbol, instead of a Porsche or Ferrari, is having health insurance and a desk."
Wall St financiers party like there's no tomorrow -- literally

TIS THE SEASON

To cut staff!
Zeek thinks those who
fire at Thanksgiving and Christmas
are lower than a snakes belly in a
wagon rut.

Here be a few of dem snakes!

NBCU To Cut 500 Jobs, Layoffs Begin at NBC News Bureaus


Viacom to cut 850 jobs, freeze some raises in 2009


Scripps putting Rocky Mountain News up for sale

Across the United States, more than 30 daily newspapers are for sale, and buyers are scarce.


To take your mind off
this mess...Saturday
you can watch Maryville High School win
another state AND at the same dang time
catch the SEC Championship game between
Alabama and Florida. Charter has the MHS
game.

Also don't forget to get your
soon to be collectors edition
of Yuletide Dreams at South Land
Books in Maryville. Not a portion but
ALL of the proceeds go to the Blount County
Empty Pantry fund. Zeek has been playing
the CD continuously for two weeks and
reports it has rid his Clayton single
wide of both rats and relatives!

REMEMBER WHEN

Zeeks favorite local
radio history blog
posted a newspaper
ad from back in the 80s
and asked the question WHO ARE
THESE FOLKS! His Zeekness
just about spilled his 40
when he saw the pictures!
He not only did hard time
with a few of those on the
Ad, but also owes money
to a most of the others!


See if you can identify
these captains of radio!
Post your answer and the person
that gets more than half of
the names right will win
absolutely NOTHING!


Zeek is working on
a rumor that those
who have over ten years
in at WBIR are being given
early retirement packages.
The completely unfounded
rumor (yep those are the best)
added the packages are being OFFERED
and not forced on the graying
side of the staff.


Since MEET THE DEPRESSED
had Tim go toes up does anyone
still watch? If you have been
slogging through the lisping Tom
since the funeral you are to be
congratulated. Bottom line is
NBC is sending Mr. T back to
the ranch and bringing in
a new hater of the right wing,
yep Howdy Doody (a network nick
name for this guy) and a real
hater of GW and the boys is taking
over for Tom. Show of hands of
those who care?


Lots of the cyber mail
was gravy stained and
had a slight Ripple smell due
to the holiday. Still a few
folks managed to send in their
thoughts...





Byron Chesney said...

Hey Walker, I enjoyed hearing you on WJBZ with Mike in the Morning yesterday. Great job with the new CD. btw... you and Mike sounded great together again, you might seriously consider that comeback...

Thursday, November 27, 2008 9:14:00 AM EST


Ed...Zeek is managing the
former radio Icon's career and at this
particular point in time a comback is
always being considered but never
by those who write the check.
As for the CD... Yuletide Dreams...
It is on sale at South Land Books in
Maryville and all the proceeds go to
the Empty Pantry Fund. A concert featuring
the songs from Yuletide Dreams is in the
works for South Land Books soon.
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Walker...

How about dropping all this stupid shit and giving us some info on the damn media, for once! 93.1 just changed formats. Give us the scoop, man. Or have all your sources dried on the vine? And more info on the tv stations and the newsrag at KNS.

Make it a MEDIA report once again, not this crap you've been feeding us.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 5:19:00 PM EST



Ed...Staff has a question
does feces have the capacity to be
intelligence or stupid? To answer the
question we found this CT scan of
the posters head!
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We got to hear the songs tonight and they were really good, bought a CD also!

With all the boring nothing news going on right now the media report has been refreshing!

Giving time and money to those who need it is what Christmas is all about.

Tell Zeek he done good.


Ed...Zeek has been
basking in the spirit of the
season and is floating on a Yuletide
cloud produced by some wonderful
herb tossed in his open car window
two weeks ago on MLK.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 11:13:00 PM EST
Delete
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are your blog are so hated! You SAY you are media but you talk about shit and never get any of the media stories right.

I hated reading you in the Shopper and am going to stop reading you now, unless you talk about the positive side of local TV news. Your hate for WATE is open and obvious and we can see right through it.

You are too old and ugly and stupid to ever be on TV or ever write for a real paper (Halls News) again so just
GO AWAY

Friday, November 28, 2008 9:17:00 PM EST



Ed...We are
crushed that you still hate us
after all these years. We don't hate you, but
we do have a very young copy boy who isn't fond of
your SUV!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice job UT this guy sucks!

Fire the AD and bring back
Majors as AD! UT has not been UT since the fat man ran him off.

Friday, November 28, 2008 10:04:00 PM EST


Ed...Zeek tried to have a
drink with Majors the day before
UT hired the new coach but when he knocked on his
door the pool boy sicked three pitbulls on him.
By the time Lifestar arrived and the medics
found Zeek's leg and fingers the ink was on
the paper and Majors was out of the hunt.
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Walker, regarding 93.1's switch last week, this is in R & R Magazine...

"It was good news-bad news for Citadel's venerable WIVK/Knoxville on Wednesday (Nov. 26). On one hand, fall phase one results showed the station off to a great start with a 19.5 12+ share. By the end of the work day, however, it also had a competitor, Journal's WCYQ, "Q93, Today's Continuous Country."

Q93 replaces the '80s format of WMYU. According to Chris Protzman, VP/GM of Journal/Knoxville, "We've listened to what Knoxville radio listeners have been asking for quite a while, and that was a radio station that would play their favorite country hits of today without constant interruptions."

The station officially launched Wednesday afternoon at 5 p.m. with a promise of playing 10,000 songs in a row and plans for "several major promotions in the coming weeks." WCYQ already has a Web site up and running at www.Q93Country.com."

And as they say, that's the poop.


Ed....BOY do we love the past coming back
around. A quote from the release has been
used more times than the late great Anna Nicole..


"We've listened to what Knoxville radio listeners have been asking for quite a while, and that was a radio station that would play their favorite country hits of today without constant interruptions."


LOL!!!!!!!! Get this Journal, the REASON WIVK
wins is they do NOT play continuous tunes. Yep, they have
humans TALKING and they talk about KNOXVILLE. Oh
one more hint...IF listeners want no talk all music they
can have it with terrestrial radio! The FROG is not worried, but
Journal should be.