Friday 9-29-06


I was ready to make a new tin hat and restock my bunker with canned goods and fresh shot gun shells when an anonymous E-mail floated over my cyber transom before dawn.

The "it had to be true cause it was on the web" post said that when that cowhand saw the space ship crash back in 1947 near Roswell that thing coming out of the clouds carried the corner stone of today's Democratic PARTY!

I kid you not, thing said that in of March 1948, exactly NINE months after the thing made the hard landing in New Mexico the following babies were born! You had baby Al Gore, Baby Hilla Rottingham (later Bill's wife), baby John F. Kerry, baby William Jefferson Clinton (I know if this is right he DID marry his sister but hell they were from Arkansas the state even Kentucky looks down on) baby Howard Dean, baby Nancy Pelosi, baby Dianne Feinstein, baby Charles E. Schumer, and baby Barbra Boxer!

Just about the time I loaded by .45 and pinned on my I Like Ike button another E mail flew in saying some lonely man living in a one room shack in Montana had done googled all the above and posted their real birthdays;
Hillary Clinton: October 26, 1947
John Kerry: December 11, 1943
Bill Clinton - August 19, 1946
Howard Dean - November 17, 1948
Nancy Pelosi - March 26, 1940 Dianne Feinstein - June 22, 1933
Charles Schumer - November 23, 1950
Barbara Boxer - November 11, 1940

Kinda hated to see the second E mail, the first one had really cleared up a ton of questions!


Chuck Sheen, the son of the former TV leader of the free world and now star of Two and a Half Men is cutting a deal with Warner Brothers Television to be paid $350,000 American dollars for ever episode of the show. Yep, same show that co-stars the pencil necked geek who played Ducky opposite Molly Ringworm in that high school movie where she made her own dress for the prom and hung out with Annie Potts at the record store. Bottom line is Sheen's pay breaks down to $2916.66 a minute or as Chuck explained it to his old man thirty hookers an hour.


A judge in the Big Apple has told Liza Minneli's X old man there is no "triable issue of fact" in his case. The dude was lawing Liza cause he said she not only yelled at him but also cold cocked him with a sucker punch when she was pulling hard on the Russian Joy Juice. Said it would take at least 10 million "Liza Dollars" for him to get over the trauma of her right hook.

Lord it gets better he also said that Liza had thrown a lamp at him in a London hotel and then smacked him in the face with her fists when he tried to calm her down. Son anyone knows when a woman throws furniture you leave the room and everyone knows if you hang around to calm them down you are going to catch one in the nose.

Case dismissed!