BEAT BAMA..LOL

FRIENDS and those who
would love to be, ZEEK RIDINGS
says we should all lay down
the political burdens this weekend
and revel in the fact that right up
until eight forty five, Saturday
evening the UT Vols are still in the
game with Alabama!

Our crafty old coach and
his crack team of assistants
will have the fighting Vols
on a razor edge ready to
pound the rock, work hard,
run up the middle, throw to
the left and right, and get dead
in the face of the hateful Red Tide
for at least the first possession.


If you are going to the game
the weather looks to be just about
perfect IF you can managed to sit on your
allotted 9 inches of seat sandwiched between
two very fat individuals. Nothing keeps you
warmer than rolls and rolls of
fat clothed in unwashed big orange fighting
gear!


Unfortunately the cold temperatures may
cause the Alabama dancing girls to cover up
this year. On their last visit these
visions of beauty wore scanty tops
and sequined thongs as they pranced
in their section the entire contest. With
the rain and falling temperatures the
flesh may be covered but remember under
the wrapping still jiggles those fine
chemically enhanced bodies!



Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:



You're walking down a deserted street with your wife

and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife

comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,

screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the

knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock

cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere

seconds before he reaches you and your family. What

do you do?

.............................................................



THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN











Democrat's Answer:


Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire

him to attack?



Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock

the knife out of his hand?



What does the law say

about this situation?



Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind

of message does this send to society and to my children?




Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be

content just to wound me?




If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my

family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and

make this happier, healthier street that would

discourage such behavior.




This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with

some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.



..........................................................



Republican's Answer:


BANG!



...........................................................



Southerner's Answer:



BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the

Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!






More as it happens but please remember to
enjoy the weekend, watch or attend the game
and flip off a Democrat in church!