BRIBES WORK

A case of Pearl, two
forties and a quarter of
a pound of Walland Wonder
Weed was all it took to
get ZEEK RIDINGS to
throw his journalistic
ethics in the crapper and
write the following.


ZEEK RIDINGS

MEDIA MEMBERS PERFORM
IN CONCERT TO RAISE
MONEY FOR THE CREATION
OF A LOCAL DISK JOCKEY
RETIREMENT HOME.

The home,built
entirely on funds raised from
the final concert of The Mountain
Folk Reunion (at Tellico), not THEIR
final show, they still owe on their guitar
lessons, will be like an elephant burial
ground for Knoxville's old DJs.

The Sam Brown wing will feature
an entire wall of mirrors, while the
Phil Williams compound will feature rooms
that open onto various T boxes on the
Bagger Vance designed golf course.

The CP and Walker wing will have a wall
featuring all the GMs they caused to be
fired from bleeding them white with salary
increases and the physical therapy
gym will provid Becks Dark on tap
next to every exercise machine.

Hal Hill's wing has yet to
be designed due to the fact that
he is still working. One thought is
to give the halls a very loud echo. The
selling point would be no matter who
shouted in the halls Hal's voice
would answer them.

The Eddy Beacon wing would
featured daily limo service to
any of the area banks,provided you
are not sporting prison tats and a
large dog.

Again the proceeds from the final
show at Catino;s (NOT THE GROUPS FINAL SHOW)
will all go to this worthwhile cause. Be in
attendance Saturday night and bring many quarters
for the TIP JAR!


Zeek Ridings

JUST FOR FUN:
The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details'; or putting it another way.... Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms.


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Ea st Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave., mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart