ZEEK IS ALMOST BACK

Zeek Riddings
Exclusive for The Media Report
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I DONE SEEN IT ALL!

by Zeek Riddings
Publisher, President,
CEO, COO, CRA and P
of the entire Political
Lie and Innuendo Department
of The Media Report.



After giving a young man dressed in
a fake fir coat, hat, gloves, shoes and
mask,a crisp five dollar bill
for an all access laminate I done found
myself in the crypt of the Capitol. Gentle
reader I was so close to Jimmy Carter I could
have bounced a quarter off his old lady's
Botox filled jaw! As they was preparing to head out to the platform the Carters and the Clintons were forced to occupy the same cramped space.

Jimmy Carter gave the Clintons the Buckhead Brush Off and went right over and warmly, kissed Barbara Bush dead
on the mouth WITH TONGUE. But as Carter passed fellow Democrats Bill and Hillary Clinton, the two men did not appear to acknowledge each others presence at all.

I did manage to hear
Jimmy say something about the least Bill could have
done when he was raking in all that Katrina money
would have been to have given a few hundred million
to the Billy Carter Memorial Library and Road House. On a
a personal note I have visited the BCMLRH and can tell you
the money is much needed. Despite being a Democrat Only
Joint the only beer they can afford to serve is BUSH.


Less than an hour before Barack Obama took the oath of office, I flashed my I HATE SARAH BADGE and got
into the ABC News booth.
Just as I walked in Charles Gibson (I called him
Chuck and he warmed right up) spotted former Vice President Al Gore
. Suddenly Chuck got this glazed look
in his eyes, and he started fantasized about how this could have been Gore's last day in office, not George W. Bush's.
No kidding, His eyes rolled further back in
his head and I thought he was going to pull
a Ted Kennedy and fall face first into
a salad plate! Chuck said..."Had he gotten a second term," "had he been elected president in the first place in the year 2000, and then gotten a second term -- he would be there as the outgoing President of the United States."

Well someone had to do something so I
slapped him so hard dem glasses flew right off
his nose,and I yelled "Charlie WAKE UP SARAH
IS OUTSIDE WITH AN AUGHT SIX AND SHE IS
LOOKING FOR YOU!" Like Lazarus Mr. Gibson rejoined
the living, pulled out his GLOCK and went all
Chuck Norris on me. I done slid out the side
door as one of his producers darted him from
across the table. CLOSE CALL!

After the gun thing with
Chuck, ABC security
noticed the wet ink on
my pass and things went south.
Lots of beatings, got water
boarded three times and
when I still wouldn't tell
them who I was working for they
threatened to show me naked pictures
of Harry Reed and Nancy Pelosi doing
the Dirty Deed!

Gentle reader there is much more
but my eyes are about shut and
the guard is going to take my
Blackberry on his next pass so I better
sign off for now. I did manage to
cut a fast deal with FOX that if
they would post bail I would
run pictures of some of the reasons
they are the most watched Cable News Network!