May 9, 2008

MAR, ANY HARD NAMES IN THE NEWS?



The list of “THEY SAID WHAT?” words keeps growing!
Some of these are repeated but still worth a look. This weekend you might want to poll the family and come up with more. It is very simple; just ask those who live in the bunker what local names our television journalists have the most problems pronouncing.

The list so far:

Tazewell
Maryville
Oak Ridge
Concord
Seymour
Vonore

Neyland
Chilhowie
Faragut
Ragsdale
Regas
Loudon




Sevierville
Blount
Lenoir City
La Follette
Harrogate
Lettrell
Heiskell
Oneida
Petros
Corryton
Louisville
Etowah

Some ones a little farther outside of Knoxville:

Mosheim -- MAW-SHIME
Elizabethton -- uh-liz-uh-BETH-tun
Sugoinsville -- sur-GOINS-vul
Morristown -- some rednecks call it mooresh-TOWN

I heard a yankee fill-in weekend anchor on Channel 10 butcher the hell out of "Vonore" a few weeks ago, and it made me want to puke.

And the one that pisses me off the most is when out-of-towners call Weigels "wiggles."

Because you kids who read this blog are over achievers and often on a higher intellectual level than those who post on other blogs, like knoxviews.com, not only did you come up with blown names you also came up with an outstanding dictionary that will help those fledgling journalist to sound just like they fell off the turnip truck!

Hey, these are flat beautiful!




How do you say:

Ragsdale....CROOKED
LAfollit....METH COUNTRY
Maryville...DEATH BY MOTORCYCLE
Seemores....SOUTH KNOX WATABEES
NEYLAND.....PHIL'S LAST CHANCE

here are more.
Mat Hinkin....HERMAN MUNSTER
Todd Howel....JOHN BOY
Lori Tucker...HOOCHIE MAMMA
Old City......PARK AT 6 DEAD BY 7
Sentinel......DEAD PAPER WALKING


Oh and to prove we have at least one anal Democrat posting, here is a list of how “they” think you should say a few of our local favs.


Luttrell is lut'trul

Blount is like blunt

Sevier is like severe

Oak Ridge is Oak RIDGE, not OAK Ridge.

Maryville is Murr'ville

Seymour...see'more

Neyland is knee'land (not nay-land)

Heiskell is high'skul, not high school

Petros is pee'tross

Oneida is oh-nye'-da

Corryton should be easy, but most people say corrington

Louisville is lewis'vull

Tazewell is taz'well

Loudon is loud'un

Etowah is eh'ta'wah

Keep um coming!!!! OH and if you
really just moved south of Ohio
check this guide for "TALKING WITH THE
NATIVES" it really can help!



If you missed it the local Knoxpatch paper announced they are going to cut the size by a few inches. In a spinning editorial they said the fonts would be the same and really nothing much would change.

In the past when papers cut back the size it is always to save money. The old spinning excuses back then were it would save trees and my favorite it would make the paper much easier to read while you were on the throne. Of all the past and now current cover-ups of the real reason they sliced the paper down my favorite has always been the bathroom readability. No really it actually held a sliver of fact.

In 1956 my late great Daddy decided it was time to remodel the family manse. The house was a three holer, two upstairs and one down. The largest of the three was off his bedroom and after construction it was renamed the “big” bath. Daddy let mother do all the selecting, cabinets, sinks, tub, and wallpaper but when it came to the location of the porcelain god he drew the line in the sand. First he climbed into the attic and determined approximately where the quiet spot was below him. When he was certain he was over the site plaster and wood started to rain on the soon to be new floor below. The plumber was then allowed to install the seat of honor. Following the instillation I replaced my father in the ventilated attic and pointed a very powerful light down the new opening in the ceiling. Daddy sat down, spread out the Maryville Daily Times on the floor between his knees, and called out directions on the movement of the light until it completely covered the paper. An electrician had been in the one deck circle during the entire aiming process and the instant the coverage was dead on he joined me in the attic and proceeded with the instillation of the powerful fixture.

Forty two years later the light is still in place but when the new tiny paper hits the streets the wide bright coverage will no longer be needed. As for reading the paper while engaging in the morning constitutional the thought in our household was why not read what you are creating?

THE FUTURE

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So how does the posting about the proper pronunciations of the places qualify as coming from an "anal democrat?" Sounds to me like it was just a helpful list of suggestions.

Anonymous said...

The reduction in the size of the newspaper is just like the reduction in the size of food. Whittle it down just a little at a time, and save bunches of cash over a year's time. And most of us will never know it, or the change will be so little, we won't care. I am surprised, though, that the ragpaper didn't raise its prices at the same time. That seems to be the mode of operation these days.

It's like the price of gasoline. Don't look for it to go down much, if at all. Once they get us used to paying $4.00 or $4.50 a gallon, the big oil companies will leave it right there and always have reasons for not lowering the price and why they have to raise it even more.

If Satan or Hussein gets to be Prez, look for a skinny wallet. At that point, a good stock investment would be in K-Y Jelly, or for us Southerners, Crisco.

P.S. Everyone knows that the actual physical newspapers are a dying breed. Everyone is going to be using the Internet, and some papers in larger cities are investing more in their websites and not in the actual paper. Dylan had it right. "The times they are a changin'".

Anonymous said...

So how does the posting about the proper pronunciations of the places qualify as coming from an "anal democrat?"

I agree, someone was just trying to help! Also democrats are crazy but they sure are not anal.

Anonymous said...

Hey, we're all bozos on this bus!
Craziness knows no political affiliation.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see the News-Sentinel is slowly heading towards its prefereed "pocketsize" format. LOL