Fantasy gifts for the New Year AND the mini-radio reunion/bank robbery report!


Before the "behind the scenes" look at the mini radio reunion; I want to hand out my fantasy gifts for our local media kids.


WATE television local news department fantasy gift package:

1. Upon opening the giant box you will see on top an announcement of the firing of who or whatever is consulting your news department!

2. Just under the announcement you will see a short list of things that will overcome the problems created by the former consultant. Included is new steady cams, you know the kind that won't shake when the user is trying to inject drama into a report.

3. Next is a bound book of the history of WATE all the way back to the day it became East Tennessee's FIRST television station, with all of the periods of HIGH RATINGS and their causes underlined.

4. An 8X10 of Gene Patterson stapled to an 8X10 of John Becker and the note on the back saying "YOU HAVE GENE THEY HAVE JOHN, NOW DO YOU GET IT?"

5. A copy of the "this is how I get out of this thing" clause in the Oprah show contract.

6. A velvet painting of a clock showing the 6 p.m. hour and the words, "THIS IS THE TIME OF RECORD, FORGET ABOUT THE 5"

7. A list of what it would take to hire Schwall and a clandestine meeting place in Rockford to work out the details.

8. A tall stack of apology notes signed by every person drawing a check from the station and addressed to every source the news department has alienated over the last 48 months.

9. A new extended contract for Wogan with a healthy raise.

10. A large increase in the promotional budget to let the viewers know about all of the above.


WVLT Fantasy gift.

A life time contract for Chef Walter and a guarantee he will both live another 50 years and never cook a thing that calls for over 6 ingredients to prepare.

WBIR Fantasy gift.

A clothing gift certificate for Julya and guidance in her clothing selections by Robin.

WIVK Fantasy gift
The staff stays healthy, Citadel doesn't do something stupid to Ed, and the station remains the flag ship station of the VOLS for 9 more national championships in football, and 10 in Men's basketball.




The Mini-Radio Reunion

For the second year running WVLZ (1180) radio has invited burned out old DJs to tell lies around the holiday season. This year I drug in about 8 in the morning, said hello to someone in the hall who acted like he knew me, walked quickly into the control room, slammed the door, and sat down. Seconds later MIKE BEACH came in and thanked me for both not remembering who he was (I remember Beach, just didn't know the old dude in the hall) and slamming the door in his face!

Eddy Beacon did the hosting and together we covered all the old stories complete with slanderous lies about those who were either dead or not in studio. Beach told us he was the guy to first hire Mike Hammond, Eddy talked about the days he worked for the late great James Brown at his Knoxville owned radio station while I brought up the more recent Beacon Bank Robbery.




First whatever you read in the paper or saw on the television was fabricated by a local media gone wild for ratings group of Neojournalisticleftwingcommieclones driven by a blood hunger for viewers that constantly makes them kick the rules of ethics and journalism under the bus.

Beacon told us he was not involved in any bank heist, but rather innocently transporting a Doberman to Atlanta to pick up five thousand dollars for simply mounting something of the same species. As for the man with the dog, Eddy described him as a rather nice fellow with facial and body ink, stylish boots and cash money to play for the transport of said dog.

I would give you more details but I have signed an agreement with the producers of COPS to let them reveal the rest of the story. Look for it to air one week after Beacon appears on both Larry King and Nancy Grace.

HappyNewYearHaveABeerHappyNewYearSeeYouNextYear


2006 was a heck of a year for changes in both the old and new media.



Locally TV news junkies were doing double takes when about this time one of their favorites, WBIR anchor Ted Hall talked of crying children and sadness at dinner when he announced to his family he was leaving North Knoxville for Atlanta. Later we found the announcement was much happier around the dinner table when we read Ted's quotes on his new station's website in Atlanta. The real facts were simple; half of the highest rated local TV news anchor team was headed to Georgia and after earlier loosing their news director to local government the suits at WBIR had a decision to make. Granted WATE, the then number two station in the market was of little threat to 10 but still local TV news in Knoxville has been known to change quickly when talent leaves as proven by Margie Ison jumping a few decades earlier. The big guys took Bill Williams to lunch, hit him up with the idea of returning and after he pondered the deal for a day he came back to the anchor desk. Bill not only held the fort for WBIR he increased the numbers and the station continued to enjoy being the WIVK of the local TV news in the market.

In 2006 the dreaded Nielson over night ratings became a friend and a nightmare to our local TV news stations. Rather than hanging out for a quarter to see if those astronomical local news advertising prices were justified the clients could check out this column weekly to see who was winning who was coming close and who was dieing on the vine. At first those who took it on the chin said the numbers were not valid but that talk evaporated as more homes joined the sample. By the end of 2006 the over nights were showing WBIR still doing fine with Bill in the chair, WVLT winning at noon and more often than not at 11 and WATE slowly leaving the building in local TV news.

2006 will be known also as the year they began to prove to both the market and more importantly the advertisers that WVLT was on the fast track to become the new number two local news station. Big news considering WATE has been a solid number two for decades and WVLT has been a distant third. 2007 could be a new ballgame for all three of the local news stations (I know about FOX but their local is WATE produced) with WBIR now replacing Bill with a new face both 6 and 8 will be trying to capitalize on what could be a crack in the 10 shield.

In 2006 radio also had subtle changes. Two more all music stations blessed our airwaves and more small local stations gave upthe ghost. Jack (the offering at South Central) and Earl (Citadel Broadcasting) tried to be your I Pod stations. The big problem is the two stations are nothing more than last gasp tries at luring a lost audience. You kids with your MP3 players already have your Jacks and Earls and they are customized for your taste by YOU. Brothers and sisters there is a whole new world out there of media lovers who have left radio faster than we all turned to FM when James A. Dick past out those free converters in the parking lot on Kingston Pike a few decades back. 2006 was the year local radio really stopped being local, Jack and Earl are about as local as a lost family of Yankees trying to find Dolly Wood. Back in 2005 only TWO PERCENT of the cars in the Knoxville radio market had satellite radio. Also less than half of the GM cars offered the new pay radio, but this year GM has over 150 different models with satellite radio and one of the hottest sellers in the world of electronics this holiday season was XM radio. Why hear 4 in a row locally when you can hear unlimited in a row on satellite, with few if any commercial breaks? Local radio will never out music satellite, just a fact Jack. Someday you will tell your children, not grandchildren but your children, that one time there was free radio, it had people talking on it you saw in Kroger and everyone actually got excited and drove across town to get a T Shirt with the name of the station on the front. Granted they will give you that deer in the headlights look and then continue with their downloading, but most of you will feel a twinge of sadness in knowing they will miss out hearing their local team play ball on the air on a Friday night or just having their name mentioned after they called in a request.

So is 2007 going to just suck or will it be better? As far as media goes, all I am sure is 2006 was a new beginning and this time next year all of us will be shocked at the advances or in some cases the regressions we will have seen. Stay Tuned!

THE VERY LAST WEEK TO BUY ME SOMETHING!

The staff has taken the entire week off to shop and decorate so we will use the space for some holiday thoughts. As for the standard Christmas shows, NBC did their one night only showing of It’s a Wonderful Life and the best I could do was hang in until the drug store dude boxed the kid's ears. Sunday night Christmas Vacation was on TBS twice and The Christmas Story will run a full 24 hours starting Christmas Eve on several cable channels.

Beth Green is inviting everyone to an 11 p.m. Christmas Eve service at their church in Alcoa. "First United Methodist Church of Alcoa (617 Gilbert St. Alcoa) will feature Acoustic guitars, mandolin, and maybe a fiddle! You'll enjoy it. And the preacher won't go on and on that night. He's pretty good, too! (I married him.)"

Beth

I invited myself into the deal and they are going to let me do a tune as well as play with the real musicians in attendance. If you know where the old Alcoa swimming pool is you can find the church and as Beth said everyone is invited.

I got this note from someone who obviously moved from the frozen north and after reading what those tired folks have to put up with in the winter I can see why they MOVED SOUTH!

Diary of a Snow Shoveler, Author unknown

December 8: 6:00 PM.
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the
wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the
window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt
like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for
the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did
both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the
snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed
in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect
life.

December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll
definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas
would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end
of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't
think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's
our neighbor.

December 14:
Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to
-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this
afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I
would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll
certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff
and puff so.

December 15:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in
Alaska, after all.

December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed
for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try
not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove,
but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I
can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff
last night. More shoveling. Took all day. %^#$^ snowplow
came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but
they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're
lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another
shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think
he's lying.

December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches
of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all
dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By
the time I got undressed, and dressed again. I was
too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his
truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy.
I think the asshole is lying.

December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0o. The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a
month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the
jerk who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the
snow by his thumbs. I know he hides around the corner and
waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
Carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy
watching for the snowplow.

December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the slop tonight.
Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I
hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The
wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If
I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm
going to kill her.

December 26:
Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was
all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30o and the pipes froze.

December 28:
Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in.
December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How
dumb does he think I am?

December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a
million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9"
predicted.

December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

As they say on EZ 88.30 "Have your self a merry little Christmas!"

First do you recognize the teacher or any of the students in the above picture? Think WKGN, Fulton, The Duck, The Dr. and then let me know who you think it is! As always the winner gets nothing.



A few changes, thoughts, and surprises materialized in our local media camps last week. Years ago when I wrote for the "big" paper the former head man said the part of my column he liked the best was bullet points. Being a budding newspaper scribbler packing a mega radio ego I naturally assumed his reasoning was based on said bullets being short. Short is not good, short does not let the journalist inject his or her style, flavor, verve, and vast literary background into their masterpiece. Because the guy also hated stories that had a jump in them and was so terrified by snakes he would not even allow a picture of one from the zoo in his paper I naturally filed his bullet thought in the eccentric bucket and kept them to a minimum. All that said, here are a few bullets from last week.

1. Here is a thought (from someone both in the business and highly respected by me) on the mega slide to ratings hell by WATE…"Considering that the Fox News at 10:00 (produced by WATE) is one of the "late" newscasts -- the WATE 11:00 news is in FOURTH PLACE."

2. Another thought on WATE flew in over the cyber transom.
"Just in case you haven't heard, Ch 10 has a new anchor/reporter. She is Evette Martinez (SP?) She will be reporting three days a week and anchoring the weekend news. She used to be at ch 6 and left to pursue other interests in the business."
Two fast footnotes, first WBIR seldom hires anyone from across town, even if they sandwiched another job outside the business into their résumé before they joined the 10 team. Second, it was rumored by more than a few insiders at 6 that Martinez got a rather "raw" deal when she left 6. Again the key word is rumored so don't tag me with "creating" a fact on this one.


3. NEWSTALK Traffic/Talk Show Host is leaving. "I have been presented with an exciting opportunity for my career. However, to pursue this we need to move. I have accepted a position as the morning talk show host on KLIK-AM in Jefferson City, Missouri. The station is respected and its location in a state capitol could lead to bigger and better things down the road. I start at KLIK on January 2, 2007, and I will be heading out there between Christmas and New Year.
Jay Kersting


4. When Harold Ford Jr. was in town being congratulated by the libs and the dems for his fine run in November his Uncle was being sentenced to the slammer. Interesting that not one journalist attending the tainted (the guy lost) celebration party had the backbone to ask the man about his Uncle?


I checked a comment in the "guest book" at Southern Roots Radio asking why I had no information on a reportedly purloined web cam, allegedly missing from their control room. I was informed of the missing cam a few weeks back and because the few times I have had the opportunity to be on the station either it was not working or the viewing of it was tied to e mailers actually requesting the operator to turn it on, I assumed they just scrapped it? Turns out a controversy of biblical proportions has erupted over the thing and if you care to follow the history of the disappearance dash over to http://southernrootsradio.com and click first on the programming links (try political) and then on the guest book. If the big paper gets behind the story and one of the public service TV channels pile into the mix, this thing could grow legs and become of major importance, or not.

November TV ratings are in da can!

JUST NOTICED A GREAT COMMENT!!...If you get bored in all the number stuff at the closing of the blog PLEASE scroll down to the comment section. Several thoughts on why WATE is having another horrendous rating experience! As always, if you have a thought pop it in, it will not be jacked around with or deleted!


Here is the plan Stan.

Two stations have been sending great updates on the November ratings war and I am going to post their latest reports just as they were created.
If you have a problem with their thoughts email me or post right here on the blog...if you find wrong numbers and can prove they are wrong (or kinda think they look odd) then wear them out!

Also last week Bill Williams said good bye again. Man that just sucks. Like everyone else who watches local TV news I am a giant Bill fan. The first time he left we were already kinda used to Ted from Live At Five, but the station had enough gray matter to talk him into continuing on the air in other roles. Having the voice and face of Bill around is a good thing and later when Ted pulled the "Holiday Surprise" and scooted off to Atlanta Bill walked back in like he had never left. The numbers showed him to be as popular as before and BIR never missed a step.

Now that he is leaving again things are not as easy. This new fellow is reported by staff to be a very nice guy and a hard worker. Great, but will that be all that is needed to replace Bill Williams?? Yea I agree with you..Not by a long shot! I really wish the brains of the outfit had figured out a way to talk Bill into just staying right where he was a few more years. Nothing against the new dude, but unlike the first exit when Ted slid in so easily this one just has a ragged feel to it. Good luck to both 10 and Bill!


Here are the "as created" Nielson ratings thoughts from WVLT and WBIR.

Never saw a thing from good old WATE? Either they are in a snit or they don't have much to brag about this go round?

Enjoy


Here is the latest from WBIR-TV and NBC as of 12-1-06:
November 2006 Nielsen Sweep Results
WBIR/NBC dominated in early morning, early fringe, all primary news time periods, early fringe, prime access, primetime, and late fringe.
Mon.- Fri. daypart averages for November 2006 sweep:
HH Rating WBIR/NBC Daypart Share WATE/ABC Daypart Share WVLT/CBS Daypart Share HH Total
6-9a 7.9 58.09% 3.9 28.68% 1.8 13.24% 13.6
9a-3p 5.2 38.52% 2.9 21.48% 5.4 40.00% 13.5
3p-5p 6.4 42.38% 4.0 26.49% 4.7 31.13% 15.1
5p-6p 9.9 43.04% 7.5 32.61% 5.6 24.35% 23.0
6p-630p 15.6 53.42% 8.5 29.11% 5.1 17.47% 29.2
7p-8p 12.7 53.36% 6.7 28.15% 4.4 18.49% 23.8
8p-11p 9.2 38.02% 6.5 26.86% 8.5 35.12% 24.2
11p-1130p 11.3 54.33% 4.3 20.67% 5.2 25.00% 20.8
1130p-130a 3.9 51.32% 1.4 18.42% 2.3 30.26% 7.6
Source: Nielsen Meters in the Knoxville DMA 11/2-29/06

Primary news time period averages for first 3 weeks of November 2006 sweep:
HH Rating WBIR/NBC News Share WATE/ABC News Share WVLT/CBS News Share HH Total
6-7a 8.4 57.14% 4.2 28.57% 2.1 14.29% 14.7
6-630p 15.9 53.00% 9.1 30.33% 5.0 16.67% 30.0
11-1130p 11.5 53.74% 4.5 21.03% 5.4 25.23% 21.4
Average News Share 54.16% 26.93% 18.91% 66.1
Source: Nielsen Meters in the Knoxville DMA 11/2-29/06









WVLT Volunteer TV News is #1

in cumulative daily news households in the pure news time periods between Noon and 11:30 P.M.

Noon-11:30 P.M. – Cumulative daily Total Average (++)
WVLT 173,000 households
WBIR 171,000 households
WATE 135,000 households


6:00A.M.-11:30 P..M. - Cumulative daily Total Average (+)
WBIR 214,000 households
WVLT 182,000 households
WATE 157,000 households


More East Tennesseans are getting their news, sports and weather from WVLT Volunteer TV between Noon and 11:30 P.M. than any other Knoxville Television station!

More East Tennesseans are getting their local news, weather, and sports from WVLT Volunteer TV than any time, ever, in its more than 50 year history!

• + Measuring “pure” news time periods of 6:00-7:00 A.M.; Noon-12:30 P.M.; 4:00-4:30 P.M.; 5:00-5:30 P.M.; 5:30-6:00 P.M.; 6:00-6:30 P.M.; 7:00-7:30 P.M.; 11:00-11:30 P.M.
• ++ Noon-11:30 average excludes early morning news averages from totals for all three stations.
•
• It should be noted WBIR does a brief news capsule at the top of its infotainment program, LIVE @ 5, and those households are NOT counted in any of the totals.

THIS wks MEDIA REPORT is on
http://southernwriter.blogspot.com/

Da VOLS!


First name the above former members of the local broadcast community and win a dinner from Brother Jacks, nine cold beers from the Yard Arm, a two hour visit to the Alhambra Motel on Kingston Pike, and a weekend on Jake Butcher's house boat (SCUBA equipment available at a minimal charge), post your answers below in the comment section.

Our second topic is all about the BIG ORANGE. Also post your thoughts about the rest of the season in the comment column. Bless their hearts, Arkansas just beat them like a red headed step child!




In olden times the University of Tennessee use to practically give away the broadcasts of their games to any station who wanted them. When WKGN went on the air in 1947 one of the driving forces behind the new station was UT football and bringing a kid named Lindsey Nelson over from WROL to do the broadcasts. Nelson had worked for General Neyland selling advertising in the printed baseball programs and also doing a little play by play. When the founders of WKGN approached him about moving to the new station the carrot of doing the games was all that was needed.

In the late 1960s WATE (AM 620 radio) carried both football and basketball games, while just about any station outside the Knoxville market was welcome to broadcast the games. WATE started calling themselves the flagship station of the Vols and it flew all over the kids running WIVK. When the games became big business and WATE moved from WETE to WRJZ, WIVK grabbed the games and the hallowed title of Flagship Station. Later when the broadcast privilege was auctioned off to the highest bidder JACOR (owner of WMYU) crunched the numbers and bid up to the point where the cost would still allow them to make money with the broadcast. WIVK bid higher and today they still own the games locally and the right to call themselves the FLAGSHIP Station.

After the fine performance of the Big Orange out in Bill Clinton Country most fans are gearing up for basketball! As the sports pundits told us Sunday morning on WBIR, the Vols sucked in every aspect of the game against the Hogs. What really shivers our timbers is the fact that Kentucky AND Vandy are not the door mats of old.
To slither into a Peach Bowl or, heaven help us all the Music City Joke Bowl, the Big Orange has to crawl by both of these kids.

At this point most are saying, lets remember our Georgia win (although Georgia stinks worse than a whistle pig three days dead on Kingston Pike) and move on over to the house of Pearl.


No matter how dejected we are we will still fire up WIVK come Saturday morning and listen as we negotiated the weekend chores right up until kick off. Da Vols are now an official brand of Da Frog and right now sales boys and girls are on the street spewing the old line of "NEXT YEAR" to the advertisers. Truth is next year things could turn around and if there is one thing we agree on it is UT is one of the biggest "NEXT YEAR" teams in the SEC!

This is how they started, can you name them and what they are doing today?



A RANT from a Viewer, TV ratings, Radio buying tips, the Radio Graveyard.



Sunday
11-05-06
Media Report


November is another ratings time for TV, it is also the month radio starts to finish their fall ratings and it is a month for Thanksgiving Turkeys.

According to one e mailer all the turkeys are not necessarily surrounded by artery choking starches and gallon bottles of Wild Irish Rose. Before you read their note let me assure you this came from a living person and was not a figment created by someone indulging in a pre-Thanksgiving taste of brown whiskey. If anyone finds it offensive then they should post in the comment section and as always their unedited response will be added.

Now the rant:

"Just my opinion."

"I have a name for each station and their so-called
news people who seem to move faster than a marker does
in a game of Monopoly. Which leads me to say that my
7 year old grandson sends me better unassisted emails
than one could get from local TV newspeople."

"Anyway, back to The Land of the Nerds! That is my
descriptive phrase for Channel 10. That weather girl,
whatshername, Julia?, but not Roberts, dresses and has
a hairdo like my Grandmother had in the 1940s, and Julia
even dresses like Grandmother did back then."

"And the noonday guys are definitely not dumpster
divers. They are so polished dressed in their suits, sit
in 2 chairs set at a 45 degree angle. Ben and Mike?
They look like the two guys who sit in similar chairs
just inside Smith Mortuary. The guys that tell you
where to go, I mean, which chapel you should proceed
to. Ben & Mike will probably advance to a career as
mortuary greeters."




"Anyway, that is my rant about Land of the Nerds. More
to follow in future days."

Again, a VIEWER'S thoughts not mine, also if your station was not mentioned feel free to post or come on back and see when this viewer send in another thought or ten.

Local TV news is fun to watch and the gaps in everything from reporting to dress are widening between the various stations. What do YOU think is the cause? Talk among yourselves and post below!


More than a few local radio stations will be swimming in a dry river bed when the flow of political ads dries up after Tuesday. If you are going to buy time from any of them be sure to remember they are coming off one of the most lucrative elections in years and even though the holiday advertising is a nice tree to shake they can all see the dark ugly January days right over the hill. Remind them of it and bargain for a better rate! It really can be fun if you get the right gal or guy and all of them (OK with the exception of WIVK cause they stay sold out) have the latitude to extend your buying power. Good luck and have FUN!


I am going to really get back into the old days of TV and radio starting next Sunday. More than a few great pictures from the past have been coming into the media bunker (send yours to wjonair1@aol.com) and I will be posting them for you to see. We also will look back at the radio graveyard and see if anyone remembers the victims or better yet their crimes. As for TV, I still think WBIR.com kicks donkey with their look back at their 50 years of broadcasting. If you keep missing their fine packages, just dash over to their site and check them out.


The November TV sweeps have just started and it really does look like WVLT is moving past WATE and taking aim at WBIR. If you like to read numbers and charts then here is what the first few days of the TV ratings looked like.



-WVLT News at Noon #1
-WVLT First at 4:00 #1
4:00 beats Style on WBIR and OPRAH! on WATE!
-WVLT @ 5:30 gains from nice lead in via Andy
-CBS Evening News w/Katie Couric averaging WAY ABOVE where it was one year ago
WVLT all Vol Special at 7:30 statistically ties WATE’s Tailgate special
-WVLT Volunteer TV News at 11:00 BEATS WATE garnering three times as many viewers as WATE
6:00 A.M. – 11:30 P.M. LOCAL NEWS CUME HOUSEHOLD TOTALS
WBIR 243,000
WVLT 192,000
WATE 134,000
4:00a 20.97 WVLT/CBS RT SH HH WBIR/NBC RT SH HH WATE/ABC RT SH HH
21.93 1.0 4.7 5 _2.8_13.0_21.45__15 2.9 13.4 15 1.4 6.5 7
4:30a 22.79 1.2 5.4 6 EARLY TDAY-NBC 2.8 12.4 15 ABC NWS-MORN 2.4 10.5 12
22.21 _1.4__6.5_22.06___7 1.3 5.8 7 _2.7_12.2_22.50__14 2.7 12.0 14 _2.7_12.2_22.50__14 3.1 13.9 16
5:00a 24.31 CBS MORN NWS 1.3 5.3 7 10 NWS-500A 5.7 23.5 30 GD MRN TN-5 3.4 14.0 18
25.17 _1.5__6.2_24.74___8 1.8 7.1 9 6.3 24.9 33 4.1 16.4 22
5:30a 23.62 ET THS MORNING 2.2 9.2 11 5.4 22.8 28 3.2 13.6 17
23.87 2.3 9.5 12 _5.9_24.3_24.24__31 6.2 26.0 32 _3.4_14.0_24.24__18 2.8 11.8 15
6:00a 27.24 2.1 7.9 11 10 NWS TODAY 6.9 25.4 36 GD MRN TN-6 3.2 11.6 16
31.88 2.2 6.7 11 8.8 27.6 46 4.6 14.4 24
6:30a 34.56 2.7 7.8 14 9.5 27.6 50 4.6 13.3 24
37.38 _2.3__7.9_29.76__12 2.6 6.9 14 _9.5_28.9_32.76__50 12.6 33.8 66 _4.3_13.3_32.76__23 5.1 13.5 26
7:00a 37.47 EARLY SHW1-CBS 1.8 4.9 10 TODAY SHW 11.1 29.7 58 GD MRN AMR-ABC 4.7 12.5 25
35.71 _1.8__4.9_36.59___9 1.8 5.0 9 8.9 24.9 46 4.0 11.3 21
7:30a 37.29 EARLY SHW2-CBS 2.2 6.0 12 8.9 23.9 47 3.6 9.7 19
37.45 2.2 6.0 12 8.5 22.7 45 2.5 6.7 13
8:00a 36.54 2.2 5.9 11 7.9 21.5 41 2.3 6.4 12
35.41 2.2 6.2 11 7.4 20.9 39 2.6 7.3 14
8:30a 35.76 2.2 6.1 11 6.1 17.0 32 2.1 5.9 11
36.24 _2.2__6.1_36.45__12 2.4 6.7 13 _8.1_22.2_36.48__42 5.9 16.3 31 _3.0__8.2_36.48__16 2.0 5.4 10
9:00a 37.13 REGIS&KELLY 3.0 8.1 16 TODAY SHW2-NBC 5.2 13.9 27 JUDGE JUDY 3.2 8.7 17
37.22 3.0 8.1 16 4.6 12.4 24 _3.1__8.4_37.18__16 3.0 8.0 16
9:30a 37.23 3.1 8.2 16 4.2 11.4 22 JUDGE J BROWN 3.0 8.1 16
36.79 _3.1__8.3_37.09__16 3.2 8.7 17 _4.6_12.3_37.09__24 4.2 11.5 22 _3.2__8.7_37.01__17 3.5 9.4 18
10:00a 36.35 MONTEL WILLIAM 2.4 6.7 13 MARTHA 4.5 12.4 24 RACHAEL RAY 1.9 5.1 10
36.90 3.1 8.3 16 4.1 11.1 21 0.8 2.2 4
10:30a 37.35 4.1 11.1 22 4.4 11.9 23 0.8 2.3 4
35.66 _3.6__9.9_36.56__19 4.8 13.4 25 _4.4_11.9_36.56__23 4.4 12.4 23 _1.2__3.4_36.56___6 1.4 4.0 7
11:00a 35.36 PRICE-RT 1-CBS 5.5 15.4 29 ELLEN 2.3 6.5 12 VIEW-ABC 2.7 7.7 14
35.74 _5.6_15.7_35.55__29 5.7 16.0 30 2.7 7.7 14 2.5 6.9 13
11:30a 35.86 PRICE-RT 2-CBS 6.8 18.9 36 2.6 7.2 14 2.5 6.9 13
35.59 _6.5_18.3_35.72__34 6.3 17.6 33 _2.7__7.6_35.64__14 3.2 8.9 17 _2.7__7.5_35.64__14 3.0 8.3 16
12:00p 35.79 WVLTNEWS AT 12 6.2 17.4 33 10 NWS@NOON 5.0 13.9 26 WATE 6 NEWS-N 2.3 6.4 12
36.25 _6.1_17.0_36.02__32 6.0 16.7 32 _4.5_12.5_36.02__23 4.0 11.0 21 _2.6__7.1_36.02__13 2.8 7.8 15
12:30p 37.66 YOUNG&RESTLESS 7.4 19.6 39 BEV HLLBILLIES 3.7 9.8 19 MILLIONAIRE 3.4 9.0 18
37.56 7.1 18.8 37 _4.1_11.0_37.61__22 4.5 12.1 24 _3.4__9.0_37.61__18 3.4 9.0 18
1:00p 39.21 7.7 19.8 41 DAYS-OUR LIVES 5.6 14.2 29 ALL-CHILDREN 2.8 7.1 14
38.56 _7.4_19.4_38.25__39 7.5 19.4 39 5.7 14.9 30 2.0 5.2 11
1:30p 36.63 BOLD&BEAUTIFUL 6.7 18.3 35 6.1 16.5 32 2.0 5.5 11
38.60 _6.6_17.5_37.61__34 6.5 16.8 34 _5.8_15.1_38.25__30 5.8 15.0 30 _2.1__5.4_38.25__11 1.5 3.9 8
2:00p 37.71 AS WORLD TURN 6.4 17.0 33 PASSIONS-NBC 4.2 11.2 22 1 LIFE TO LIVE 1.8 4.8 9
38.65 5.3 13.8 28 4.2 10.9 22 2.3 6.1 12
2:30p 37.25 4.9 13.1 26 4.2 11.2 22 2.6 7.1 14
37.10 _5.4_14.4_37.68__28 5.1 13.7 27 _4.3_11.5_37.68__23 4.6 12.5 24 _2.2__5.9_37.68__12 2.2 5.9 11
3:00p 39.62 GUIDING LIGHT 5.0 12.6 26 DR. PHIL 5.5 13.8 29 GENRL HOSPITAL 2.7 6.7 14
39.89 4.8 11.9 25 6.1 15.2 32 2.9 7.4 15
3:30p 41.64 4.8 11.4 25 7.7 18.5 40 2.4 5.7 12
41.51 _4.8_11.9_40.66__25 4.8 11.5 25 _6.9_16.9_40.66__36 8.2 19.7 43 _2.5__6.1_40.66__13 2.0 4.8 10
4:00p 44.19 WVLT-NWS 1ST@4 6.2 14.1 33 STYLE 5.0 11.3 26 OPRAH WINFREY 4.8 10.8 25
47.12 _5.6_12.3_45.66__29 5.0 10.6 26 4.2 8.8 22 5.9 12.5 31
4:30p 51.18 GOMR PYLE USMC 4.3 8.5 23 4.6 9.0 24 4.5 8.8 24
54.55 _4.7__8.9_52.86__25 5.1 9.4 27 _4.8__9.7_49.26__25 5.4 9.9 28 _4.9__9.9_49.26__25 4.3 7.8 22
5:00p 54.82 ANDY GRIFFITH 6.0 10.9 31 LIVE AT FIVE 8.0 14.6 42 WATE 6 NEWS-5 7.3 13.3 38
56.88 _6.2_11.1_55.85__32 6.5 11.4 34 9.4 16.5 49 _7.8_13.9_55.85__41 8.2 14.5 43
5:30p 59.42 WVLTNEWS 530PM 7.1 12.0 37 10.6 17.9 56 INSIDE EDITION 8.4 14.2 44
61.19 _6.8_11.3_60.30__36 6.5 10.6 34 _9.8_16.9_58.08__51 11.3 18.5 59 _8.0_13.2_60.30__42 7.5 12.3 39
6:00p 63.84 WVLTNEWS AT 6P 5.8 9.1 30 10 NEWS 6P 16.2 25.3 85 WATE 6 NEWS-6 8.5 13.3 44
64.93 _5.5__8.5_64.38__29 5.2 8.0 27 17.1_26.6_64.38__89 18.0 27.7 94 _8.8_13.6_64.38__46 9.1 13.9 47
6:30p 65.32 CBS EVE NWS 5.9 9.0 31 NBC NITELY NWS 16.5 25.3 86 ABC-WORLD NWS 9.1 13.9 48
65.80 _5.9__9.0_65.56__31 6.0 9.1 31 15.2_23.2_65.56__80 13.9 21.2 73 _8.6_13.2_65.56__45 8.1 12.4 43
7:00p 66.45 WVLTNEWS AT 7P 4.5 6.7 23 WHEEL-FORTNE 13.0 19.6 68 JUDGE JUDY 8.0 12.0 42
67.32 _3.9__5.9_66.89__21 3.4 5.0 18 13.2_19.8_66.89__69 13.4 19.9 70 _7.8_11.7_66.89__41 7.7 11.4 40
7:30p 68.70 ALL VOL SPECL 3.9 5.7 20 JEOPARDY 13.2 19.2 69 TENN TAILGATE 4.3 6.3 23
71.65 _4.0__5.7_70.17__21 4.1 5.7 21 13.1_18.6_70.17__68 12.9 18.0 67 _4.2__5.9_70.17__22 4.0 5.6 21
8:00p 73.78 SURV:COOK-CBS 8.1 11.0 42 MY NM-EARL-NBC 10.4 14.0 54 UGLY BETTY-ABC 7.8 10.6 41
73.73 9.1 12.4 48 _9.3_12.6_73.75__49 8.3 11.2 43 7.0 9.5 37
8:30p 75.57 8.6 11.4 45 OFFICE-NBC 6.4 8.5 34 6.8 9.0 36
76.65 _8.7_11.6_74.93__46 9.0 11.7 47 _6.6__8.7_76.11__35 6.9 8.9 36 _7.0__9.4_74.93__37 6.5 8.4 34
9:00p 77.42 CSI-CBS 13.3 17.2 70 DEAL-DL-TH-NBC 11.4 14.7 60 GREYS-THU9-ABC 9.8 12.6 51
78.70 14.4 18.3 75 12.7 16.2 67 10.5 13.4 55
9:30p 77.22 13.6 17.7 71 14.0 18.1 73 10.0 13.0 52
76.68 13.8_17.8_77.51__72 13.9 18.1 73 13.4_17.3_77.51__70 15.6 20.4 82 10.2_13.1_77.51__53 10.4 13.5 54
10:00p 71.94 SHARK-CBS 9.2 12.8 48 E.R.-NBC 11.2 15.5 58 6 DEGREES-ABC 4.9 6.8 26
67.87 7.8 11.5 41 10.3 15.1 54 3.6 5.3 19
10:30p 61.14 7.6 12.4 40 9.9 16.2 52 3.3 5.4 17
58.18 _7.9_12.3_64.78__42 7.2 12.4 38 10.2_15.8_64.78__54 9.6 16.5 50 _3.6__5.6_64.78__19 2.7 4.6 14
11:00p 55.02 WVLTNEWS AT 11 6.5 11.9 34 10 NWS NTEBEAT 11.9 21.7 62 WATE 6 NEWS-11 2.6 4.7 14
49.76 _6.2_11.9_52.39__33 5.9 11.9 31 11.7_22.4_52.39__61 11.5 23.1 60 _2.0__3.9_52.39__11 1.5 3.0 8
11:30p 44.92 D LETTRMAN-CBS 4.2 9.2 22 TONITE SHW-NBC 7.4 16.5 39 ABC-NITELINE 2.0 4.5 11
41.56 3.7 8.9 19 4.8 11.4 25 _1.8__4.1_43.24___9 1.6 3.8 8
12:00a 39.21 3.7 9.5 19 3.8 9.7 20 J KIMMEL-ABC 0.5 1.2 3
36.96 _3.6__8.9_40.66__19 2.9 7.8 15 _4.9_12.1_40.66__26 3.7 10.1 20 0.2 0.6 1

BIG REPORT THIS WEEK!




Media Report
10-29-06




Hi GUYS!

Lots of things bubbling up last week with our various local media tribes. Just as your noted gatherer of bovine scatology was declaring the Tyler Harber (see knoxnews.com) saga slipping into the sunset the BIG PAPER and a few local politicians pull a Lazarus on the story!

First Lumpy (no joke that is what they call this civic leader) was on WVLZ talking with Lloyd and the guys when Chad (another player in the story) called in to talk about stolen computers.

Lost yet, hang on it is about the reporting and not the story so just stay with us for a second.

Lumpy invited Chad to a big meeting where the investigation of said computer along with many more bothersome things, reportedly connected to Tyler's former boss, was going to be started. Chad told Lumpy he had a day job and couldn't make it, but the BIG PAPER showed up and had a picture of Lumpy on the front page!

Along with the BIG PAPER, the WVLZ gang is also reporting and PARTICIPATING in the story. An e mail from Lloyd and his side kick Kelvin flew in over the cyber transom last week and it warrants inclusion into this week's column. Before you read it let me say I like both of these radio rebels and believe them either when we are in a face to face or when they send me a note. That said, read their letter, and then edify yourself further with a dash over to knoxnews.com to flesh out the entire story.

Lloyd C. Daugherty Wm. Kelvin Moxley
Post Office Box 11274
Knoxville, TN 37939
(865)-947-5931
October 15, 2006
Knox County Commission
Suite 603
City County Building
Knoxville, TN 37902
Dear Commissioners:
On August 20, 2006, The Halls Shopper began a three-part series on past activities of former Knox County employee Tyler Harber. In that series, Harber made numerous allegations of possible wrong-doing committed at the request and/or knowledge of Knox County Mayor Mike Ragsdale and/or
Mayor Ragsdale’s Chief of Staff, Mike Arms.
The allegations ranged from: tampering with wheel-tax petitions, managing political campaigns on county time with county resources, obtaining private medical records of private citizens and surreptitiously obtaining the private electronic communications of Knox County citizens.
Each of these allegations has incriminated Mr. Harber and implicated Mr. Ragsdale and Mr. Arms. Elements of the allegations have been corroborated or admitted to by either Mr. Ragsdale and/or Mr. Arms and reported in the media. Each of these allegations potentially constitutes serious violations of federal, state, and local law.
As is obvious, we have a vested interest in seeing these allegations fully investigated and the findings fully reported. Mr. Harber alleges he obtained our private medical records, which if true, would constitute a
violation of Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 ( HIPPA), Federal Public Law 104-191 as well as state statutes. Neither of us are county employees, nor recipients of county health assistance. The county mayor has no cause or legal right to seek or obtain this information.
Privacy is vitally important to every individual and vigorously guarded. The public has raised concerns over the federal government's terrorist surveillance programs and its implications on individual privacy. We should
also be concerned when our elected officials and staffs of our local government allegedly engage in actions that compromise the privacy of its individual citizens.
Regardless of whether you believe, disbelieve, or are unsure of the veracity of the accusations, it is indisputable that Mr. Harber’s allegations should be fully examined by an impartial fact-finder. We ask that the Knox County Commission do its duty and investigate this matter to clear the air and repair public confidence in county government.
Sincerely,
Lloyd C. Daugherty Wm. Kelvin Moxley
Host Co-Host
“The Voice” “The Voice”

Now that the BIG PAPER and WVLZ are engaged the Harber story could not only grow legs it just might dance right into court, or even better into the yellow pages of Knoxville's political history. No mater which way it turns it will be fun to watch, stay tuned!





Last week the summer Arbitron (radio ratings) hit the streets and if you are trying to decide which radio to spend money with, although it is flawed as heck around the edges, the book is still the bible as far as most advertising kids are concerned. Big problem with local radio today is most folks don't have a clue who is on it, which station is which and who owns what. When a sharp dressed radio account executive rolls into your parking lot and slithers out of their 94 Honda they are packing more than just their stations ratings. Today most of them will show you "several" stations you can buy in "combo" to cover everyone from the one eyed lady renting the Jim Walters in Halls to the nine car owning, mansion dweller in Maryville. So what do you do? Who do you buy? How do you shuck the wheat from the chaff and pass a check over to the gal or guy with all the pie charts and T shirts in your office? Heck if I know! LOL
Anyway, here are the numbers and if they help you then bless your heart make a buy!

Knoxville, Tennessee Market Update
Summer 2006 Arbitron


Metro 12+ Population: 633,300 Rank 71
DMA 12+ Population: 1,086,200 Rank 60


The Summer 2006 Arbitron is in for Knoxville. The survey covers the 12-week period from June 29th – September 20th.


Arbitron 12+ Respondents, Knoxville Metro Survey Area

Survey Su 05 Fa 05 Wi 06 Sp 06 Su 06

Respondents 1,691 1,726 1,706 1,797 1,730

In this book, the persons using radio (PUR) was down, so in some cases, the share of some stations may show an increase while actual ratings could be lower.

Some things to look for in this survey (Mon-Sun 6am-12 mid unless otherwise noted below):


Citadel Broadcasting

WIVK: WIVK has a 25 share 12+ for the first time since 1994, ranking #1 in all major demographics. WIVK holds a cume advantage of over 100,000 listeners 18+ over the number two station. WIVK also has a 42% AQH advantage over WJXB with Women 25-54 in prime (Mon-Fri 6a-7p) and reaches 20,000 more women every week in that demo and daypart. WIVK enjoyed an 8% increase in cume with Adults 25-54.

WOKI: WOKI is again ahead of the satellite-fed WQJK/WRJK combo with Adults 25-54, moving up three rank positions. WOKI’s strength is with Women 35-54, with 70% of its 12+ AQH audience in the Adult 25-54 age cells. Among 18-49, WOKI's share increased 77%. Its exclusive cume grew among Adults 25-54 compared to Spring 2006.

WNOX: WNOX increased its Adult 25-54 AQH by almost 9% Mon-Fri 6a-7p, with strong gains in morning drive in the demo. WNOX moved up to #3 with Adults 35-64 Mon-Fri 6a-7p passing WIMZ. WNOX now holds an 11% AQH advantage over WIMZ during prime time.

WNML: “The Sports Animal” moved from 7th to 5th with Men 25-54 during the total week, but grew significantly in drive times, posting an 82% AQH increase in morning drive and a 94% increase in afternoon drive. In afternoon drive, WNML ranks a solid number two with Men 25-54 with a 12.1 share and a 21% advantage over number 3 WIMZ.



Journal Broadcast Group

WWST: The Summer book was a good one for WWST, posting a 36% increase with Adults 25-54 in total week listening, drawing it closer to #3 WIMZ. WWST shares a lot of listeners with sister stations WKHT and WMYU.

WKHT: Over half of its audience is in the 12-24 age cells. Of its 25-54 Adult cume audience, 44% are reached each week by sister station WWST.

WMYU: “The Point” experienced a 20% loss of AQH Adults 25-54 while losing slightly less than 2% of its cume in the demo. Sixty percent of its total AQH 12+ audience is female and 40% is male, a reverse in gender audience composition from the Spring 06 report. Over 40% of its Adult 25-54 weekly cume listen to sister station WWST and 46% can be reached by WJXB. WMYU fell from 7th with Adults 25-54 to a tie for 8th, slightly ahead of WOKI.


South Central

WJXB: “B-97.5” enjoyed a nice increase in the Summer, with increases in most demos from the Spring 06 survey but well below (13%) the Summer 05 survey. WJXB had a 13% increase in AQH from the Spring 06 book with Women 25-54 and ranks a distant #2 in the demo.

WQJK/WRJK: The satellite-fed “Jack” format had a 40% AQH loss from the Spring Book with Adults 25-54. Almost 70% of its 12+ AQH is male with its strongest age cells being Men 35-64.

WIMZ: WIMZ still holds a #3 ranking with Adults 25-54, slightly ahead of #4 WWST. WIMZ had a 19% decrease in AQH with Adults 25-54. Its strongest hours with Adults is during midday.

WNFZ: WNFZ posted an 8% increase with Adults 25-54 in the Summer 06 book and shares 51% of its 25-54 cume with WWST each week. Almost 80% of its total 12+ AQH audience is male.

r>

THANKS for reading the Media Report this week and in closing I wanta run something about a guy who hits a long golf ball,none of us are ever sure where it will go when he hits it but that sucker is a marvel to watch fly! A big Media Report congratulations to Lou!


Moran Named Insuror of the Year by Insurors of Tennessee

NASHVILLE, TN, October 10, 2006 – Louis S. “Lou” Moran, III, CIC, of Inter-Agency Insurance in Knoxville, TN, was named Insuror of the Year at the Insurors of Tennessee 113th Annual Convention in Nashville, TN. The Insuror of the Year is the highest honor the association bestows upon its members. Mr. Moran’s years of dedicated service and instrumental role in overseeing an update of the association’s website and information management capabilities and executing a record breaking membership campaign led to his receipt of the award.

Lou has been active in Insurors of Tennessee’s volunteer leadership since 1996 when he served as Young Agents Chairman. He has chaired the Website and Technology Committee, Life & Health Committee, Convention Committee, and most recently the Membership Taskforce. Consistent with his history of producing real results and successful initiatives benefiting member agents, Lou was named the 2005 Insurors of Tennessee Chairperson of the Year. r>
“I was surprised and honored that my friends and business associates would select me for this award,” says Moran on being named Insuror of the Year. “No matter what I have given to the association, I have gotten it back ten times over.”

A native of Knoxville, Lou is heavily involved in many community projects and organizations including serving as Treasurer and Board member for the Knox Area Chamber Partnership, serving on the board to improve James White’s Fort, serving on several agency councils and coaching his children’s’ youth basketball teams.

“With Lou, it is never a question of if. It is only a question of when and how. His step-up attitude and can-do enthusiasm, regardless of the tasks at hand, make him an invaluable member and leader of Insurors of Tennessee,” says Chuck Bidek, CEO of Insurors of Tennessee. “There is no doubt that this association would not be where it is today without his spirit, leadership, and efforts.”


The Insurors of Tennessee is a trade association representing over 550 independent insurance agencies in Tennessee. Its members offer consumers a choice of insurance companies, advocacy, and professional advice for all of their insurance needs. To find an independent insurance agent in your community go to www.insurors.org and click on Find an Agent.

Sunday 10-22-06
Media Column (still in Exile on the web)



Friends, neighbors, and fellow media junkies, is it just me or do you also feel there is something in the air at Channel 10? WBIR is the WIVK of TV in Knoxville, winning every local news rating race since I was in my mid 20s and yet when it is time to replace a member of the news team does it feel to you as if they are kinda shopping the marked down back row trade ins?
If you have nothing to do dash over to sports parlor south (a local comment site) and read what the kids are saying about the new anchor at 10! (http://spsboard.com/SPS/index.php?topic=10Is) If this link doesn't work for you just Google, Sports Parlor South and then click on Landfill for the thread. If you have never visited the site let me give you an up front on some of the posters. They kinda say what they think and in this thread they slip off topic into some sexiest comments about other staff members. Just write that off as children playing behind anonymous screen names and read the stuff on this John Becker dude. Being the Media Maven (self appointed) I want you to remember he is replacing both Ted Hall (cross between Chatsworth Osborne Jr. and Wink Martindale) and the DEAN of local TV news, Bill Williams. Not easy shoes to fill but he didn't beg for the job, the Big Guys at 10 HIRED the boy. If you kinda think (as do more than a few posters on SPS) that he is falling short, then blame it on the corner office kids at 10 and not the new guy! As always your thoughts are welcomed.

Topic TWO, show of hands of those who give a Rat's Donkey about the Tyler Harber saga? In the beginning the 3 part story looked like Huey Long meets Ray Blanton, but now it is dang close to hitting the week old bread shelf. Being raised in Blount County we viewed politics across the river as ok to watch but something you never wanted to step in. From Kyle to Victor and back to the boys Mr. Walker used to wear out in the Watch Dog, it was wide open insanity with just enough dark sides to keep it interesting. Does the Harber epic live up to the past? Where is Cas slugging it out in a council meeting, or even Victor quoting Roberts Rules of Order while getting a very good public cussing from a constituent on the community cable channel? Come on, ripping off a computer, posting on a joke website, messing with (Blount County for stealing) documents? It is just dull. Upside is the big paper and WATE kinda got into the mix over the last few weeks, the downside is does anyone care? Talk among yourselves and post your thoughts.



TOPIC THREE.. JR!
Good lord, when the word got out that a member of the Memphis Political Mob was going to run for Dr. Bill's seat us good East Tennessee republicans laughed so hard we just about spilled our Avion all over our
Polo pullovers. Come on everyone knows about this kid's linage and if you don't let's just say it certainly won't get him into Cherokee. Problem now is the left coast nut jobs are pouring in their laundered money to his run to the extent you can't turn on even a TV Sunday church show without a Jr. spot just before it! Bottom line is we had better cancel our T times, find every registered voter in our gated community and roll, drag, or if needed chase them to the polls to vote for Bob. If Jr. wins Tennessee loses, lets get the guy who turned around Chattanooga elected and give Jr. some time to pass the bar so he can help his kin with their legal matters!

The Lexus GIVE A WAY went so well we are doing it again this week, but the prize now is a Gulfstream 550 featuring:



Two (2) multi-region Digital Video Disc Players, One (1) 20" LCD Monitor, One (1) 17" LCD Monitor, Seven (7) 7" Rosen LCD Monitors (l/h), Three (3) Rosen LCD Monitors (r/h), Two (2) MCM Digital multi-system Converters, Two (2) Pacific System Color Touch Screen Remote Controls, Two (2) RF type Remote Control Units, Ten (10) 115 volt AC Outlets in Cabin, One (1) 115 volt Outlet located in baggage compartment. Securaplane External Camera System with selector at VIP location, One (1) fuselage mount Forward View Camera, One (1) Fuselage Mount Aft View Camera, One (1) Tail Mount Camera.
Passenger Audio Systems:
Ten (10) DT Systems mid/tweeter Speakers, Four (4) DT Systems Subwoofer Speaker, Seven (7) DT Systems Paging Speakers, One (1) Compact Disc Player/Controller, Sixteen (16) Stereo Headphones.


Same rules as last week:
1. Name the old radio kids in the above pictures
2. Find a contest giving away a Gulf 550
3. Enter the contest
4. Follow all the rules of the contest
5. Win the contest


Hints, ALL of the folks in the above pictures are alive! I know several look like they have one foot in the grave and the other slipping, but as of 11:10 AM, 10-18-06 all were sucking breath. All worked in Knoxville in the mid 1970s and two of them still have jobs in radio!


Oh, I just found out I have to go into this giant control room and push a red button to get your comments to publish! Done pushed the button and they be up now. More than a few got tired of not seeing their guesses so they just e mailed me, which is fine. None got the names right, close but no blunt!

Last weeks faces belonged to Gary Drake (mornings at WKGN around 73 or 74) Frank Irwin (WKGN same time) and the late Joe Anderson (former news director at WKGN in the same time period)

GOOD LUCK THIS WEEK!!!!

Sunday if I can find anything fun we will again talk about the local media kids. THANKS for checking out the blog and thanks for the old pictures you are sending, more I get the more I can post and the more folks you will have to make fun of all over again!!

10-15-06
Media Column



A contest! Name all three of the above men and you could win a Lexus LS460L!

RULES:

1. Name all three men
2. Find a contest where a Lexus LS460L is being given away
3. Enter the contest
4. Follow the rules of the contest
5. Win the contest

Hints 32 years ago these three worked together in Knoxville
at WKGN. Two are still alive, although they no longer live in
East Tennessee.
GOOD LUCK!

Last week the local media buzz was about the large crack that formed in the earth, the falling of the stars from the sky, the spotting of the 6 heavenly horsemen and the local TV overnights showing WVLT is now beating WATE at 6! Naturally the ratings overshadowed all of the above.

"Andy this is big really BIG!"


Since WATE gave up news reporting and became the 60 Minutes of North Knoxville their viewers have started to migrate over to WVLT. Unlike the days when Margie could jump ship and take the passengers and crew with her, today the moving of a TV news audience is a long and slow process. When WVLT started out west (behind the good liquor store that unfortunately moved) they just kinda plodded along while WATE and WBIR laughed at them. Now, with some solid talent and local news reporting they have been beating WATE daily at noon, at times at 5 and last week they started kicking them at 6!


So what is going on inside the mansion on Broadway? What happened to Mat and Gene and Jim? They are still there, but as WVLT continues to welcome their former viewers into the channel 8 camp and WBIR just keeps on beating everyone, you have to wonder if the WATE "News Director of the Month" is not considering some changes? I flat like Jim and so do a ton of sports fans, so I would have to think he is safe. Gene is politically connected in town which normally would be a big liability but because he is Gene I would hope they would cast eyes elsewhere. Mat? Well hell it is just weather who cares.

So who can the new News King set a drift on the ice?
Heck who do YOU think it will be? Face it management will always eat their young before they will admit they have screwed up so who will be tossed in the oven? Hit the comment doober and expound. I am sure you can hide your real e mail and name and I encourage you to do so. Blogs that ask for anonymous comments and then later out the writer are run with about the same ethics as certain local TV news departments! It won't happen here!

10-12-06
Belated MEDIA COLUMN



For some odd reason the blogger.com gods have been in Betty Ford for the past week. Reportedly the problem is now solved and we can get back to the job of cracking on the media!


Locally (Knoxville, Tennessee) our leader in TV news carried the Ford Jr./Corker debate live from Chattanooga and then did an analytical analysis of the bitch-fest on their local cable channel.

The feces hit the rotating cooling unit when Jr's buds showed up for the (cable) show and Corker's didn't. I didn't see the debate dissection (the bunker only uses cable for the net) but apparently the ONE sidedness was so bad their (WBIR) news director had to suit up and apologize! Here is what he said.


We have heard from many viewers regarding our special coverage following Tuesday night's debate between Bob Corker and Harold Ford, Jr. Many people at WBIR play a part in shaping our news coverage, and all of them have a voice in our editorial decisions. However, the final decisions -- and the responsibility for them -- are mine.
Last night, we made a mistake. After we broadcast the Senate debate, we brought you 30 minutes of discussion and analysis.
This segment included our anchor, another journalist, and a supporter of Harold Ford, Jr., but no supporters of Bob Corker. That wasn't right.
This happened because of some last-minute changes, some of which were beyond our control. But while that's an explanation, it's not an excuse.
Last night was a failure of planning and judgment. I take full responsibility, and I apologize to all of you for it.
Part of the Code of Ethics that hangs on our newsroom wall mandates that we "present a diversity of expressions, opinions, and ideas in context."
I am proud to say that 10News has done exactly that with our daily political coverage, our "Heart of the Matter" segments, and the debates that we have organized and aired locally.
We will correct the mistakes made Tuesday night, and I pledge to you that we will work harder than ever before to make sure you can rely on us for political coverage that is fair, unbiased, and straight from the heart.

So what in the name of Rush FLEMball did all that mean? I had Daniel (the biblical dude who figured out dreams) cut it up for us.



"We have heard from many viewers regarding our special coverage following Tuesday night's debate between Bob Corker and Harold Ford, Jr."

LORD HELP THOSE REPUBLICAN'S ARE PISSED!


"Many people at WBIR play a part in shaping our news coverage, and all of them have a voice in our editorial decisions."

A boat load of folks I don't like should be fired and their homes and barns burned to the ground!


"However, the final decisions -- and the responsibility for them -- are mine."
Key word here is THEM! Sure I hired those dweebs and I should have been kinda like WATCHING the situation, but I can make it right by taking a modicum of the responsibility as I toss them all under the bus. No hold on, I just did that in my statement! Dang it is good to be king!!


"Last night was a failure of planning and judgment. I take full responsibility, and I apologize to all of you for it."
TWO key words here... NIGHT and PLANNING.. Hey it was at NIGHT, I am management, when the sun goes down I am like Dracula burning rubber in the parking lot and headed to the box in my basement! Oh, and sure I may have signed off on the plan, but I am involved with the big picture, not something as small as planning an equal debate analysts!

"Part of the Code of Ethics that hangs on our newsroom wall mandates that we "present a diversity of expressions, opinions, and ideas in context."
I just tossed this in cause at this point we were just about 14 seconds into the on air read and those still watching love to hear we have crap nailed to the wall, especially crap that has words like ETHICS in it!


"I am proud to say that 10News has done exactly that with our daily political coverage, our "Heart of the Matter" segments, and the debates that we have organized and aired locally." SEE the earlier KEY WORD (daily) is back! It says I work in the sun-damn-shine not at night! Oh the rest is a reference to Bill (a real news guy who is leaving if not already gone) and his good work in fact checking Jr. And Corker.


We will correct the mistakes made Tuesday night, and I pledge to you that we will work harder than ever before to make sure you can rely on us for political coverage that is fair, unbiased, and straight from the heart." At 28.5 deep into the read bout all left watching are those in the home who have to be assisted to pee or a handful of STILL mad republicans taking notes. Tossing out the words fair and unbiased is the same as a half court shot at the buzzer, heck not a living or dead person in the gym thinks it will go in, but they all kinda like the fact you tried! Oh on second thought using STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART was kind of a slip. Still it is worth it, because a few of those waking back up just MIGHT think the HeartLand series is up next..and we all know they love that guy in the plaid shirt!

WSEV when they were on the main drag in the "Burg" Anyone remember that T Tiny phone booth studio they had on the street? Only thing hotter (inside) than it was the other one they built much later in Dollywood. Glass walls and no AC in the first one made it a very special place! Oh and that FORD in the picture was NEW!

Saturday
10-7-6





All the sadness last week kind of sucked the air out of the news, so being the editor, not to mention the Grand PooPaa of the Media Report I just let the old Sunday column run.

Tomorrow a new column and then we will get back to the fracturing of the news and the great OLD photos of those who swam with in the East Tennessee media pool.

Here is something that was tossed over the media transom today and it gave me both a grin and a head nod. See you tomorrow night with the new column.








Hormone Hostages know that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some chocolate.
Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some chocolate
What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some chocolate.
Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left. Can I get you a glass of wine with that? Here, have some chocolate.
What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some more chocolate.






13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!
...Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS

CYBER MEDIA COLUMN
Monday 10-2-06





Last week WATE Anchor extraordinaire, Gene Patterson announced on his blog that he would feature the county Mayor on his TV news chat show. "Mike Ragsdale breaks his silence on the Tyler Harber stories by Betty Bean in the Halls Shopper. In those stories, Harber (a former County employee and political soldier for Mayor Ragsdale) claims while working for the County, his workload was zero because his “real” job was doing political work for the County mayor. Harber claimed that Ragsdale was aware of his involvement with CasWalker.com, a mean-spirited website that attacked numbers of local officials; and that Ragsdale knew of Harber’s involvement in the hacking of former GOP Chairman Chad Tindell’s computer."
Personally I never watch anything on Sunday that does not have the words, Big Orange or SEC in the title, but after reading the three part series on the County Mayor Gene's show became a must see. Bless his heart he (Gene) so tried to Chris Wallace the Mayor but he would never rise to the bait. What he did accomplish in the half hour was to get Mayor Mike to go on record as saying the facts in the big Harber story were "simply not true." Although Gene never got a finger waving, dry mouthed, venom filled Clinton response from the guy, he did get him to take a hard stance on the question. Children politicians NEVER take a hard stance on anything, especially questions about why they hire kids in their early twenties and keep them on staff after they commit very public "HE WAVED A BADGE AND SAID WHAT?" loaded frat boy acts. So if someone does investigate all of the above and finds that this Harber dude was telling a modicum of truth, bet your grandmother's golden key burial policy on the fact that Gene Patterson will have Mayor Mike all over WATE saying "that is absolutely not true" as someone in blue tells him to watch his head as he piles in the back seat of a caged ride.
The only downside to the show, besides having to miss the "Hal Hill It Is All About Me" Sunday show on 10 was Gene said in his blog (Mayor Mike) " believes the stories were generated out of a personal vendetta by Betty Bean and Halls Shopper editor Sandra Clark" when what really happened was he asked the politician if he thought the two Shopper women were out to get him and his answer was like all of his other ones, NO. Still it was fun to see the two guys at the big table and hear Mayor Mike either taking the high road by denying all of the Harber charges or digging his grave by doing the same thing!







Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou was found resting in his car just after 3.20am yesterday. Police received calls about a car causing an obstruction at the junction of Cricklewood Lane with Hendon Way, North West London. They found the Careless Whispers singer’s Mercedes stationary at the lights.
He was taken to the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead where the singer was placed in a holding room for hours while officials begged for volunteers to pump his stomach. At last a bed pan orderly, who had been accused of pinching a HAZMAT suit from a local nuclear facility volunteered for the job under the condition that he both could wear the suit and everyone involved, would keep mum after the job was done.

Friday 9-29-06


I was ready to make a new tin hat and restock my bunker with canned goods and fresh shot gun shells when an anonymous E-mail floated over my cyber transom before dawn.

The "it had to be true cause it was on the web" post said that when that cowhand saw the space ship crash back in 1947 near Roswell that thing coming out of the clouds carried the corner stone of today's Democratic PARTY!

I kid you not, thing said that in of March 1948, exactly NINE months after the thing made the hard landing in New Mexico the following babies were born! You had baby Al Gore, Baby Hilla Rottingham (later Bill's wife), baby John F. Kerry, baby William Jefferson Clinton (I know if this is right he DID marry his sister but hell they were from Arkansas the state even Kentucky looks down on) baby Howard Dean, baby Nancy Pelosi, baby Dianne Feinstein, baby Charles E. Schumer, and baby Barbra Boxer!

Just about the time I loaded by .45 and pinned on my I Like Ike button another E mail flew in saying some lonely man living in a one room shack in Montana had done googled all the above and posted their real birthdays;
Hillary Clinton: October 26, 1947
John Kerry: December 11, 1943
Bill Clinton - August 19, 1946
Howard Dean - November 17, 1948
Nancy Pelosi - March 26, 1940 Dianne Feinstein - June 22, 1933
Charles Schumer - November 23, 1950
Barbara Boxer - November 11, 1940

Kinda hated to see the second E mail, the first one had really cleared up a ton of questions!


Chuck Sheen, the son of the former TV leader of the free world and now star of Two and a Half Men is cutting a deal with Warner Brothers Television to be paid $350,000 American dollars for ever episode of the show. Yep, same show that co-stars the pencil necked geek who played Ducky opposite Molly Ringworm in that high school movie where she made her own dress for the prom and hung out with Annie Potts at the record store. Bottom line is Sheen's pay breaks down to $2916.66 a minute or as Chuck explained it to his old man thirty hookers an hour.


A judge in the Big Apple has told Liza Minneli's X old man there is no "triable issue of fact" in his case. The dude was lawing Liza cause he said she not only yelled at him but also cold cocked him with a sucker punch when she was pulling hard on the Russian Joy Juice. Said it would take at least 10 million "Liza Dollars" for him to get over the trauma of her right hook.

Lord it gets better he also said that Liza had thrown a lamp at him in a London hotel and then smacked him in the face with her fists when he tried to calm her down. Son anyone knows when a woman throws furniture you leave the room and everyone knows if you hang around to calm them down you are going to catch one in the nose.

Case dismissed!

Thursday
The SECOND Clinton/ Wallace interview


Wallace…Mr. President I would like to apologize for Sunday and move on. Forget the dot thing, let me just ask if you felt you did everything in your power to protect the American people while in office, one simple question, is that OK?

Clinton…I will be glad to answer all of your questions but first, what the hell happened to your old man?? Hell he looks like some Peruvian mummy they just dug out of a mud bank five miles out of Lima!

Wallace… Mr. President the question was…

Clinton… (Interrupting and pointing a finger) I know the question, but hold on a minute, YOU tell me why you won't just admit you are trying to get that vampire looking Colmes tossed so you can spoon with Hannity in prime..and another thing, why won't you admit it that you leaked that picture of Babs to DRUDGE?? Don't give me that smirk, you know the one with her in that black see through job and her cans flopping like half filled water balloons?

Wallace… Hold on now, I have asked you a simple question and you….

Clinton… (Standing and waving his chair over his head) Now buddy! YOU hold on, before I unload this 1300 dollar Herman Miller across your jaw, why don't you ask that same question to Hillary?? Don't you have the guts?

Wallace… (Jumping up and hiding behind a no neck floor producer) Mr. President, put the chair down! We will get her on the phone..No hold on I am being told she is on the phone now. Just calm down and I will be glad to ask her.

Clinton… (Dropping the chair and sitting back down) That’s better, Hilla, honey are you there?

Mrs. Clinton….Yes Bill I can hear you and I can answer. But first let me ask you, did you remember to roll the trash to the street this morning after I left for work?

Clinton…No let me ask you honey, which trash were you talking about the kitchen trash, the trash in the garage or the normal clutter in the rumpus room?

Mrs. Clinton… I am asking about the big trash, you know the one on wheels outside, did you roll it to the street this morning. Or did you just roll over and after you were sure I was gone, ask that little tramp of an upstairs maid to put on your old Hot Springs High School Band tunic and make HER roll it out? Simple question, just answer it please.

Mr. Clinton… (Standing and waving a finger at the camera) Listen to me AMERICA, I did NOT ASK THAT HOT HOOCHIE MAMMA TO ROLL THE TRASH TO THE STREET. (Kicking the 1300 dollar Herman Miller chair across the room and exiting but still with microphone on) WHO BOOKED ME ON THIS THING? GET THE CAR AND CALL CNN, I DON'T CARE IF BRITTANY JUST DROPPED ANOTHER ONE TELL THEM THEIR PRESIDENT WANTS AIR TIME AND WILL BE THERE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, OH AND LEAK SOMETHING TO THE NEW YORK TIMES ABOUT THIS WALLACE PUNK HAVING A HAIR CUT JUST LIKE ALFRED E. NEWMAN'S!

MEDIA COLUMN
SUNDAY
92406






















Here is an abbreviated media column driven by the fact that just about NOTHING is going on locally with our media minions!

Almost a month ago we reported who the new News Director for WATE would be and on the 15th of this month they finally sent out the press release. Lets' all look at it and then let's see what it means!

PRESS RELEASE


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Friday, September 15, 2006


NEW WATE 6 NEWS DIRECTOR


(Knoxville) ABC affiliate WATE 6 has announced that Jamie Foster will be its new News Director. Jamie comes to WATE-TV from WJLA-TV the ABC affiliate in Washington D.C. He has been the News Director there since April 2003. Jamie has also worked, in various management roles, at a number of other strong television news stations, such as: WFAA-TV in Dallas; KNBC-TV in Los Angeles; WSVN-TV in Miami; and WJZ-TV in Baltimore.
“Jamie has very strong news credentials and solid news judgment,” says Jan Wade, President and General Manager of WATE 6. “He has held a number of management positions at very good news stations all across the country,” adds Wade. “Jamie has worked in many newsrooms that do the same type of broadcast journalism and investigative reporting that we do at WATE. He’s a consummate professional and first rate journalist.”
“I’m extremely excited about this opportunity. There are a lot of very talented people both in front of and behind the camera at WATE. It’s a station that is really on the rise and I hope to help it continue to grow.” says Jamie.
Foster begins his tenure at WATE as its new news director later this month, according to Wade. “He will fit in very well here and we are quite excited to have him joining our team” adds Wade.







Standard "fill in the new guy's name here" stuff. If you wanta check out his old station you can do the ask.com thing and plug in WJZ-TV (Baltimore). That was what I did when I got the call from the 6 mole that he had been hired. They (WJZ) do the "THIS PLACE IS SERVING SALAD AT LESS THAN 41 DEGREES AND WE FOUND A DIRTY KNIFE RIGHT NEXT TO THE OPEN SPAM CAN" stuff that WATE does.
I did notice the market standing (Baltimore) was higher than Knoxville. If you move D O W N in market size you do it for the money (stop laughing, it could happen in say a dream?) or to get into management. According to the "fill in the blanks" release Jamie had already ridden the management horse? I will let you talk among yourselves on why the market shift.
As for the remark about starting his tenure, that kinda takes on a completely new meaning at WATE! I can count 5 no hold on 6, is it 6 news directors coming and going at the station in the not too distant past. Lets see, WBIR has handed over the reins once in the same time period and WVLT (the guys who are running WATE into the ground in news) has changed, oh hold on VLT has NOT changed at all.
Back in the olden times if a radio station couldn't move up the General Manager told the Program Director to get new DJs or he was fired. That worked once, if it still didn't move the PD was canned. The third time the General Manager hired a new consultant and if that didn't work, the day after the GM fired the consultant he was seen going down the hall with that famous box and a severance check! Let's keep our eyes pealed on the over-nights and see where everyone is standing after Santa comes to visit.

Great NEWS on the local FILM FRONT! A personal South Knoxville favorite (JOHNNY KNOXVILLE) is back and he had a BIG box office opening of his NEW MOVIE!


The flick took in a bruising $11.9 million Friday and $10 million Saturday at 3,059 theaters Friday for what was a huge $29.2 million opening weekend.
Hit-starved Paramount brass will be thrilled, although the idea for turning the MTV series into a movie pre-dates current management of the studio.
Among other movies opening this weekend, Sony's remake of All the King's Men was a flop despite its illustrious cast including Sean Penn and Anthony Hopkins, finishing #6 by eking out only $1.2 million Friday and $1.5 mil in 1,514 theaters.

SATURDAY!




STORMS






The VOls play at home today and it is homecoming on the hill, but when the dogs and I went on the upper deck this morning we saw THESE floating over Little River toward Stately Walls Of Old UT! Kick Off is around 4 so we will remain in a holding pattern on attending until 2.


Tomorrow the old media column will be back and stay up until Monday evening. This week has been way too much fun with all the old pictures and the national idiocy that has passed for actual NEWS. Unless something really stupid is reported Monday we will keep the media column up. THANK YOU for reading and sending your comments. As always I am hunting any and all pictures of local media children at work or play. Drop me a note in the comment box along with your e mail address and I will get with you on posting them!

Friday 9 22 06

From dirty dancing to the cooling off of the global warming rage, the stories today are just outstanding!




A furor over what Concord (New Hampshire) High School administrators call an "overtly sexual" style of dancing at school dances has split the school community: There are those who defend the student's right to dance however they want and those who believe the moves are just plain inappropriate.

The single man trying to stop the dance is Reverend Shaw Moor, who has an uncanny resemblance to the actor John Lithgow. He said, "the school will cancel all remaining dances, including the upcoming homecoming dance, unless students step forward to help halt the "grinding."
"This style of dancing is wrong, "If you were to see it, you would be equally offended."

Asked by parents to describe the dance, Reverend Shaw offered this: The girl leans forward and the boy puts his pelvis against her backside. Then, he thrusts."

The entire situation was suddenly diffused when a man smelling of "alcohol" suggested to those near him the children should return to the dances of their grandparents. The buzz soon reached the podium and Reverend Moore invited him forward identify himself and the dance that would pull the children away from the lurid grinding. Speaking in a loud but slurred speech the overweight older man mumbled that his name was John 'Bluto' Blutarsky and after a pause screamed GATOR!





Despite the long term warming trend that the wife of a hack drummer and big time looser in the race for the leader of the free world says is going on around the globe, the oceans have cooled in the last three years, scientists announced today.

The former right hand man to Bill Clinton added "This cooling is probably natural climate variability. The oceans today are still warmer than they were during the 1980s, and most scientists expect the oceans will eventually continue to warm in response to human-induced climate change." Crying before an ice cube slowly melting in a pan, the concluded by saying. "Come on guys if the globe was not heating up why would Babs and Dick Branson be throwing all this money into stopping it? No, come back, don't leave??"



Serbian man needed emergency surgery after he had sex with a hedgehog on a witchdoctor's advice.


Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, says the witchdoctor told him it would cure his premature ejaculation.
But he ended up in an operating theatre after the hedgehog's needles left his "little pal" severely lacerated.


A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. Zoran told reporters from his hospital bed, "Next time I stick to SHEEP!"