ELECTION DAY!

BREAKING ELECTION NEWS!

ZEEK RIDINGS DECLARES
RAMPANT VOTER FRAUD!

MR RIDINGS IS DEMANDING
A RECOUNT. ELECTION OFFICIALS
RUNNING SCARED....FINAL RESULTS
WILL NOT BE KNOWN UNTIL SUNDAY NIGHT!

Riding says reports from MR
staff working the polls, say tens if
not hundreds are voting for people OTHER THAN
HIM! This family TRIED to write in ZEEK
RIDINGS and were told they could NOT USE
their BIG CRAYONS! Ridings sites this as
one of the many examples of voter FRAUD!



VOTE EARLY VOTE OFTEN AND
REMEMBER IF YOU HATE ALL OF THEM
WRITE IN ZEEK RIDINGS!

Zeek has been attaching
five dollar bills to pints of
Jim Beam all night and will
be at the polls most of the day.

His campaign vehicle is easy
to spot, a 72 Pinto with so many
cases of whiskey in the trunk the
rear of the car looks just like
those the Spanish tribes drive.


Our entire staff has fanned out and has filed
the following reports.

8 AM.... VOTING LIGHT
NOON.... MORE SHOWING UP
DINNER.. NOT AS MANY SHOWING UP
POLLS CLOSING..LINES WINDING UP AND DOWN THE BLOCK!


REMEMBER IF YOU DON'T VOTE
BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
ON NIGHTS WITH A FULL MOON.

ZEEK REMINDS EVERYONE WHO CAN'T STAND
THE CANDIDATES TO WRITE HIM IN! IF
ELECTED HIS VOTE WILL ALWAYS BE
FOR SALE FOR LESS THAN THE PRICE OF
TWO GALLONS OF GAS!

TODAY IS A PRE-GAME FOR HE
BIG ONE IN NOVEMBER! AGAIN
IF YOU HATE THEM BOTH REMEMBER
ZEEK IS YOUR MAN!



VOTE EARLY AND VOTE OFTEN!

FOR THE EARLIEST RESULTS GO TO ANY
OF THE TV NEWS WEBSITES.


Zeek reminds you to
join him Saturday evening for
a giant celebratory gathering
at Catinos in Tellico.
His favorite band THE MOUNTAIN FOLK
REUNION will be providing the
polka and Contra music along with all
of ZEEKS other favorites.

Click here to reserve
your table!!!